Sometimes I get asked why I blog. And the regular answer I give is because I enjoy it. I enjoy writing. I enjoy the sharing, the comments. It also fuels my passion for which ever subject I'm blogging on, whether that is the outdoors, video games or tech/gadgets.
But that isn't the whole story as to why I blog.
There is a personal reason to. Which is one of legacy. A legacy to my son Nath. The hope is one day he will look back through my ramblings and learn a bit more about his old man.
With that I hope he will feel closer and understand me more. And when I'm no longer on this world I hope it gives him comfort and something he can show his kids.
Then again he pay look at it all briefly and think "what a load of bollux, that wasn't dad".
Then again what I've written just now could be a load of crap. And is just me trying to justify and cover up for the fact I have verbal direahea (sp?) and talk bollux.
But what ever you decide my motivation is, I've just stolen a couple of minutes of your life you'll never get back. Maybe that's my cunning plan... Just call me The Joker.......
-- Could be remote blogging or just too lazy to fire up laptop/Macbook/netbook. But still this has been posted from my iPhone 4.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Reality check
Sometimes reality had a way of smashing it's way through and breaking any illusions you may have.
Having to sign my divorce papers is just one of those times.
Any hopes I may of harboured of getting back together shattered with the few pen strokes that make up my signiture.
It hurts more now than it did when she left. Back then there was a glimmer of hope. Maybe she'll change her mind.
But the divorce papers have a way of say "no she hadn't".
Friends, family and even her say I should move on. But it's hard I don't want to, I still love her.
But that love died in her for me. What stings is that what we had wasn't worth trying to save. Strangely she can't tell me what she did to try and rekindle the feelings herself. She didn't try. And that cuts so deep.
There are stories and folk tales of dogs that waited for years at the spot where their owner died refusing to move, waiting for the owner to return. That's me really refusing to move on, hoping she will return realising she still loved me.
I can't just switch off that love. I married the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
So I'll be a tortured soul, and the world had better watch out as I vent my anger on the world in the form of humour and rants at the stuff that annoys me. So business as usual then...
-- Could be remote blogging or just too lazy to fire up laptop/Macbook/netbook. But still this has been posted from my iPhone 3G.
Having to sign my divorce papers is just one of those times.
Any hopes I may of harboured of getting back together shattered with the few pen strokes that make up my signiture.
It hurts more now than it did when she left. Back then there was a glimmer of hope. Maybe she'll change her mind.
But the divorce papers have a way of say "no she hadn't".
Friends, family and even her say I should move on. But it's hard I don't want to, I still love her.
But that love died in her for me. What stings is that what we had wasn't worth trying to save. Strangely she can't tell me what she did to try and rekindle the feelings herself. She didn't try. And that cuts so deep.
There are stories and folk tales of dogs that waited for years at the spot where their owner died refusing to move, waiting for the owner to return. That's me really refusing to move on, hoping she will return realising she still loved me.
I can't just switch off that love. I married the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
So I'll be a tortured soul, and the world had better watch out as I vent my anger on the world in the form of humour and rants at the stuff that annoys me. So business as usual then...
-- Could be remote blogging or just too lazy to fire up laptop/Macbook/netbook. But still this has been posted from my iPhone 3G.
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