tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840706572296442429.post6989598814776347268..comments2023-10-29T09:38:58.821+00:00Comments on For Nine Pounds - An Analogue Blog: I'm Thinking About SuicideIdiothttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04779802480127180504noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840706572296442429.post-3722304968557374552008-08-25T11:21:00.000+01:002008-08-25T11:21:00.000+01:00@CK I'm lucky to know someone like you and to coun...@CK I'm lucky to know someone like you and to count you among my friends. Thank you for the comment.<BR/><BR/>@Narocroc I am shocked by the reaction to this. I just wanted to put into words some thoughts I was having. I thought it would be passed by like so many other posts, but the response is wonderful.Darrenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16738337397318550770noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840706572296442429.post-18521548214026286522008-08-23T12:37:00.000+01:002008-08-23T12:37:00.000+01:00Fantastic post Darren. Quite the eye opener. And t...Fantastic post Darren. Quite the eye opener. And the comments and reaction just show how powerful a blog can be. Fair play for your honesty and for your openness in discussing something so personal so strangers like me can read and ponder.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840706572296442429.post-10512594101326322902008-08-21T22:30:00.000+01:002008-08-21T22:30:00.000+01:00Darren, thank you for posting on such an imporant ...Darren, thank you for posting on such an imporant and sensitive issue. I agree completely with Stel's comment EVERY SINGLE ONE should be treated delicately and dealt with regardless of level of seriousness, because the more it is ignored the more excalated the problem becomes and the more serious the threat becomes. <BR/><BR/>If I had not had someone in my life that was willing to believe in EVERY SINGLE ONE, I would not be here to write to you today. It was not attention seeking, or in my case a cry for help, but rather an overwhelming inner feeling that the world would be a better place without me in it. <BR/><BR/>Thankfully there was just one person out there who believed in me enough to make me realise that the world is by far a better place with me here. <BR/><BR/>I am eternally grateful to my father for that, as I would have missed my children growning up and the joy of having some new and wonderful friends in my life. <BR/><BR/>So thank you again Darren, for your post, your honesty and your friendship.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840706572296442429.post-45233252979921775902008-08-21T21:57:00.000+01:002008-08-21T21:57:00.000+01:00@Morgor Frightening statistic, but I'm not really ...@Morgor Frightening statistic, but I'm not really surprised by it. And sadly, one death can have a horrific domino effect that can keep going for years.<BR/><BR/>@Lottie That's sad and possibly true, but I don't really think the government can be blamed for bringing in that system. It saves lives too.<BR/><BR/>@Ails I agree. Sometimes it can be as simple as a kind word and an ear. I'd like to think myself a good listener - one of my better traits.<BR/><BR/>@Stella Firstly, thank you for your email. Secondly, your comment here has touched me just as much as the post affected you. And yes, EVERY SINGLE ONE. I completely agree. Sometimes these threats are seen as a cry for help - well, there's a reason they call it a 'cry for help'.Darrenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16738337397318550770noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840706572296442429.post-57548727319312603302008-08-21T20:36:00.000+01:002008-08-21T20:36:00.000+01:00I don't know how to start this other than to say I...I don't know how to start this other than to say I lost a partner to suicide and have spent the last 10 years painfully wondering what I could have done to prevent it. For us there was no signs, no idea, no threats, no depression, just a death by suicide.<BR/><BR/>Unfortunately yes, some people are sick enough out there to threaten to take their own live to blackmail others and try to control them. <BR/><BR/>However, every threat of suicide should be taken seriously, EVERY SINGLE ONE. Nobody should be allowed to threaten others with it but I think they should be taken seriously and given the help needed to overcome whatever it is that makes them feel either suicidal or willing to threaten others with it and bully people.<BR/><BR/>For anyone interested out there in helping more I would recommend doing the ASIST course (Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training). It is a two day course, its tough going but it could save a life. More details on courses here:- www.livingworks.net<BR/><BR/>Also the more people that does the course, the more people that, like yourself Darren, are openly willing to speak about suicide and their own experiences, the more open the subject will eventually become and although not everyone that is suicidal can be saved, if one person's life can be saved then its worth it. :)Stelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16886873692388653086noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840706572296442429.post-34395131713277258272008-08-21T19:47:00.000+01:002008-08-21T19:47:00.000+01:00From experience people who do commit suicide or at...From experience people who do commit suicide or attempt to don't talk about it they just do it.Usually young men between the age's of seventeen and twenty three. Living in the country it seem's to happen more, or maybe we just hear about it. All it can take is for people to be more caring toword's the person and the family who live with regret's and recrimination's for the rest of their live's.ailshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03154073118018094880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840706572296442429.post-91478365688553527582008-08-21T13:05:00.000+01:002008-08-21T13:05:00.000+01:00I can't recall who told me this but apparently sin...I can't recall who told me this but apparently since the Zero Tolerance No drinking crack down has come in the rate of suicide amongst men in rural areas has risen dramatically. <BR/><BR/>Their only outlet being the trip to the pub after which they would drive home is now out.Lottiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11936847898550251079noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840706572296442429.post-76867701729960177812008-08-21T12:58:00.000+01:002008-08-21T12:58:00.000+01:00apparently its the no 1 cause of death for young p...apparently its the no 1 cause of death for young people in Ireland.<BR/><BR/>http://www.aware.ie/online%20books/suicide.html<BR/><BR/>More so than traffic accidents.<BR/><BR/>I think most people consider suicide at some stage in their life, especially men.<BR/><BR/>I know a family from around my hometown where 3 out of 4 brothers in their late twenties killed themselves seperately over the course of a decade.<BR/><BR/>Nasty.morgorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18114639530339030641noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840706572296442429.post-86771913517646540272008-08-21T12:05:00.000+01:002008-08-21T12:05:00.000+01:00Sad news from Maman Poulet - someone in her apartm...Sad news from <A HREF="http://www.mamanpoulet.com/?p=430" REL="nofollow">Maman Poulet</A> - someone in her apartment block took his own life today.Darrenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16738337397318550770noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840706572296442429.post-78014321887766364612008-08-21T11:55:00.001+01:002008-08-21T11:55:00.001+01:00@Baino Welcome to the blog! Thank you for commenti...@Baino Welcome to the blog! Thank you for commenting. That guy was extremely lucky. I think most of the time people just NEED someone to talk to. Much of the time depression is as a result of loneliness and isolation from the world. Even the smallest gesture could be enough to help someone. Fair play to you - that's wonderful.Darrenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16738337397318550770noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840706572296442429.post-22401894872943213792008-08-21T11:55:00.000+01:002008-08-21T11:55:00.000+01:00@JO - that's something I really like about the liv...@JO - that's something I really like about the lives of others. You probably remember that post a few weeks ago - <A HREF="http://thelivesofothers.wordpress.com/2008/07/26/still-sad/" REL="nofollow">STILL SAD</A>. <BR/><BR/>The response was very heart warming. I hope the person who wrote it has reached out to someone who offered their help and it getting back on their feet.Lottiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11936847898550251079noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840706572296442429.post-91740201876574489652008-08-21T11:51:00.001+01:002008-08-21T11:51:00.001+01:00@SL Yip - I loves my drama. It is a topic that's w...@SL Yip - I loves my drama. <BR/><BR/>It is a topic that's worth bringing up and worth talking about. That's half my point - I was out with friends and still felt very uncomfortable talking about my experiences of it.<BR/><BR/>@Jo You've nothing to apologise for. I didn't put it in the correct context. My fault. You're right - every situation, every story is different.<BR/><BR/>@Tina I hope your old school friend doesn't feel any guilt for this. It's wonderful to have friends and people we can fall back on, but at the end of the day, we are all responsible for our own fates.<BR/><BR/>@Sheepie Cheers - I felt I had to post something on it. It stuck in my head for the whole evening after that conversation.<BR/><BR/>@Mary I agree - it's a different form of bullying, but bullying nonetheless.<BR/><BR/>@Idiot Thank you. It is obviously very different for every single person and it's impossible (and wrong) to generalise.<BR/><BR/>@Pauric For many people, they don't see it as jettisoning everything. For them there is nothing in their lives to jettison. Just blackness. Very sad.<BR/><BR/>The picture: no great relevance, but those two teddies are sitting on our windowsill and I always think the light one looks really sad.Darrenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16738337397318550770noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840706572296442429.post-26004749995883720922008-08-21T11:51:00.000+01:002008-08-21T11:51:00.000+01:00wow, baino, you put yourself out there. That was a...wow, baino, you put yourself out there. That was a generous act. It's hard to know with the internet - we all have our busy lives, and not everyone is up to taking on the responsibility of being someone's only friend.Johttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08988685736635515808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840706572296442429.post-29898890380506426302008-08-21T11:44:00.000+01:002008-08-21T11:44:00.000+01:00Ah first time on this blog and man you've hit a fe...Ah first time on this blog and man you've hit a few nerves. I am proud to say that the tiniest of give-away comments on a distant blog a couple of years ago alterted me to a young man in deep trouble. He was about to do the deed and the tiniest, most miniscule giveaway alerted me to the fact that there was trouble brewing. <BR/><BR/>He had no-one to talk to (or felt that way) until some antipodean busy body gave him the time of day. I intervened. We began corresponding, talking. I like to think I may have had some influence in saving his young life. He's now fine, well adjusted, happy and moving forward and we rarely talk about the dark times but both of us understand that they were really once there! Very difficult subject and I'm touched by your story and the comments.Bainohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14156193098088048637noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840706572296442429.post-11676965403286260962008-08-21T11:31:00.000+01:002008-08-21T11:31:00.000+01:00Friendship?Friendship?Johttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08988685736635515808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840706572296442429.post-23401818388946953272008-08-21T11:21:00.000+01:002008-08-21T11:21:00.000+01:00"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary pr..."Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" This adage, in my opinion, sums up what the concept of suicide is truly about. People have hard times, they can become depressed. However, at what stage must a person reach for them to be prepared to commit suicide, to jettison everything that ever mattered to them. In most cases of sucide, surely there was a way, a means, an option for the person other than death. Everyone one of us, as humans, has the responsiblility to ensure that this path to recovery-whatever it may be-is clearly visible and viable to whoever is around us.<BR/><BR/>P.S. I really don't get the relevance of the picture :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840706572296442429.post-28833778017299544722008-08-21T10:48:00.001+01:002008-08-21T10:48:00.001+01:00Very interesting read Darren, Sometimes people who...Very interesting read Darren, Sometimes people who seem dismissive of the idea of being able to do this are really covering thier own fears. Saying you dont understand how they could can mean in reality Please dont. It is a topic that is difficult to talk about for a lot of people, so well done to you for raising it in such an honest way.Idiothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04779802480127180504noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840706572296442429.post-47285259708765488832008-08-21T10:48:00.000+01:002008-08-21T10:48:00.000+01:00Very interesting read Darren, Sometimes people who...Very interesting read Darren, Sometimes people who seem dismissive of the idea of being able to do this are really covering thier own fears. Saying you dont understand how they could can mean in reality Please dont. It is a topic that is difficult to talk about for a lot of people, so well done to you for raising it in such an honest way.Idiothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04779802480127180504noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840706572296442429.post-7180191407296720342008-08-21T10:35:00.000+01:002008-08-21T10:35:00.000+01:00Suicide is one of those sensitive subjects that ha...Suicide is one of those sensitive subjects that has neither a right nor a wrong, some people see it as being right as they can see it as the only way out of a bad time in their lives, others see it as a wrong way as they may see the person as selfish, irresponsible or immature, not taking the time to resolve whatever issues brought them to that conclusion.<BR/>I know there are people that use suicide as a threat to hold over someone to keep them or to make them do what they want to do, and these people aren't very nice people, they are bullies in a non stereo typical way.<BR/>I don't think it's a subject that should be made light of either, as it is a very serious subject and no one knows what goes on in someone elses head, someone can show you one face but the true face is completely different.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840706572296442429.post-22149358289734735302008-08-21T10:31:00.000+01:002008-08-21T10:31:00.000+01:00I'd agree that everyone has those dark thoughts at...I'd agree that everyone has those dark thoughts at least a couple of times in their lives, and occasionally they are considered as realistic options. Its a very real problem up here (its not unusual to know 4 or 5 suicides) but one which is never discussed openly, and even if it is, its only after the event. <BR/>Fair play to you for posting that Darren.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840706572296442429.post-66965584689771652852008-08-21T09:51:00.000+01:002008-08-21T09:51:00.000+01:00I think it's difficult for anyone else to judge wh...I think it's difficult for anyone else to judge whether someone talking about suicide is serious or not. Sometimes people who threaten it, actually mean it. My old school friend's boyfriend was one of those people who always threatened to kill himself if she left him. When she eventually left him, he killed himself.tinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18406758031098784446noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840706572296442429.post-67719904952767872432008-08-21T09:42:00.000+01:002008-08-21T09:42:00.000+01:00Shit, sorry, guys - the context makes a difference...Shit, sorry, guys - the context makes a difference, and I certainly didn't mean to sweepingly dismiss your friends - or especially not you, Lottie! <BR/><BR/>That's a crappy situation you were in (How much life have you <I>lived</I>, by the way?).<BR/><BR/>I have a friend in England who is going out with a married man - who can't leave his wife because she's depressed and suicidal. And it would upset his fateher, who he looks after on the weekends. Apparently she's planning to leave some time this year, so then they can be together.<BR/><BR/>I can't decide if he's being responsible, or treating my friend badly. It's all a bit whiffy one way or the other. But I do feel that it is never ok to hold the threat of suicide over someone's head, that's manipulative and just not acceptable. <BR/><BR/>But it's all very different situations.Johttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08988685736635515808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840706572296442429.post-65808815005787756292008-08-21T06:47:00.000+01:002008-08-21T06:47:00.000+01:00O! Quite a number of comments; you've touched a ne...O! Quite a number of comments; you've touched a nerve.<BR/><BR/>(Quote: ”A woman I knew just drowned herself<BR/>The well was deep and muddy<BR/>She was just shaking off futility<BR/>Or punishing somebody<BR/>My friends were calling up all day yesterday<BR/>All emotions and abstractions<BR/>It seems we all live so close to that line<BR/>and so far from satisfaction”)<BR/><BR/>I too live close to suicide which I have rationalized or - if you like - converted to a wish to live.<BR/>It’s a hard one to get your head around, and it’s not a cure by any means, but it may afford one a glimpse of the other side or nature of suicide.<BR/>I know suicide is a very complex theme; one size does not fit all.<BR/>But the life you imagine for the teen (you feel so very sorry for is obviously so far removed from the life they actually lived) could be the very life they had always wished for and never had the chance to obtain.<BR/><BR/>(Quote: ”Dora says "Have children"<BR/>Mama and Betsy say "Find yourself a charity<BR/>Help the needy and the crippled or put some time into Ecology"<BR/>Well there's a wide wide world of noble causes<BR/>And lovely landscapes to discover<BR/>But all I really want right now <BR/>Is find another lover.”)Momentary Madnesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05314884356743431845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840706572296442429.post-37064440216343182832008-08-21T00:40:00.000+01:002008-08-21T00:40:00.000+01:00I did say partially :PI did say partially :Pbennyboyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09458929948666472435noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8840706572296442429.post-44353804795827884452008-08-21T00:17:00.000+01:002008-08-21T00:17:00.000+01:00"partially because I wanted to know what it was li..."partially because I wanted to know what it was like to fly...." <BR/><BR/>:) There are easier was. Sponsored parachute jump anyone?Lottiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11936847898550251079noreply@blogger.com