Friday, June 29, 2007


Bless me bloggers for have sinned...

It's been 2 weeks since my last blog... (God, the pain of being a Catholic...)

I had fully intended logging on tonight and writing a light-hearted, and probably mildly witty post about something or other, and which I will save for a future date. It's been a couple of weeks since I've even been on the internet. I'm one of the few people that doesn't have access in work, and my home use involves taking out my laptop, connecting up to my phone cable (no broadband for me), waiting 10 minutes for it to start up, etc. I was reading back on a few of the posts from the past while before I got down to it, just to catch up on what's been happening in the community, and to get me in the mood, when I read one of Midget Wrangler's posts mentioning a fight she'd had with the in-laws, directing to a post on her own blog. I thought to myself, I'll have a read of this, because, frankly, I was very interested to hear her side of the story, having already heard my parent's (her in-laws) take on things. I had no intention of getting involved in the arguement myself, let's face it, it's none of my business really.

It was only when I read the comments, where people called my father some quite unsavoury things, that a sudden rage came over me, and is still boiling in me at the moment. I left my own comment there, because, as much as my father can be really annoying, I am not going to stand by and let him be insulted by people who don't even know him.

It was only when I'd published the comment, and realised that there was more that I needed to say, that I started writing this. I'm not an angry person normally. I'm so laid back most of the time that I'm like a rug on vallium. But I can't abide by ignorance, and I won't let ANYONE say malicious things about my family.

It's only in recent years that I've really come to appreciate them. I didn't speak to my brother for over 3 years from when I was about 15, 'til I was 18 or 19. And it's the single biggest regret of my life. If I got to the pearly gates, and was told that I could change one thing, that'd would be it, no questions asked. And the worst thing is that it was all my fault. But luckily enough, I finally grew up, and things are great between us now. Nowadays, since the births of my niece and nephews, whom I absolutely adore, and now the extention of my family to include my new in-laws, I've come to realise how incredibly important family is. My parents are the people who brought me into this world, and brought me up to do what was right. And, as I know MW and my brother would agree, despite the fact that my family is seriously messed up, we both turned out alright, so they can't have been too far off the mark in their parenting methods. If nothing else, I'd do anything I could, not only for my parents, my brother, my sister-in-law, their children, but also my new family on my wife's side. Because that's the way I was brought up.

Don't be too hard on my parents because they like to spoil their grandkids a lot. What grandparents don't? I know that we were spoiled by our grandparents, and I'll probably be the same with my own. The most important thing is that they're family. Don't let it go too long until everything is sorted out, because, like me, you, and more importantly your children, might end up losing out on a few years of their lives.

It's just not worth it.


  1. The issue doesn't have as much to do with spoiling children as it does saying mean things. While some people might think of the things that your father said as taking the piss, most would think that they were actually quite mean. Who says to a 3 year old that they better not have any accidents, when the child is toilet training? How is that helpful? And commenting on *any* child's weight to them is NOT okay.

    This could be the point where someone says "Hey, lighten up, it was a joke", but where I come from, that's borderline bullying. They're kids. And also not respecting their mother, no matter how you feel about her (even if she's been married to your son for over 10 years), that's not okay either.

    Have I met your parents? No. But I can say this...every mother I know would have reacted the exact same, and many more would have been much worse. MW kept her cool very very well, and even if I do only know her side of the story, if he said those things, he was in the wrong, and should step up and say so.

  2. Chieftain, you are right to defend your dad of course you are, but I'm right to defend my children, I'm not gonna have a discussion about this on the net though, one to one is fine but not through an impersonal medium like the internet. And Polka, while I appricate your support I don't want this to be an ongoing issue.
    You have a lovely family with your wife and her in laws sound lovely, and your own parents are great, and you guys turned out great, but my blog is my space, my only means of expressing how I feel, I'm incredibly isolated in my life and it's like my group of friends, these people are not randomers to me, they are like my mates, I'm sorry that it upset you and I'm gonna change the wording in the post and remove any "wanker" comments. Family is very important, I agree but if you'd read another of my posts you'd have seen I had an issue with my dad recently,Family is very important, but it's not always healthy.

  3. Polkadot, it's very hard for any of us to comment on the event, because none of us were there. I'm just trying to point out that I know the man better than most. He is not a cruel man. He absolutely adores those kids, and to imply that he's cruel, or a bully, would imply that there was malice involved in what he said to them. Insensitive may be a better word to describe him, but he is most certainly not cruel. I'm just trying to put across the point that none of us should be making such strong accusations against anybody when we don't have the full facts.

  4. Completely aside from the reasons behind writing it (and I hope they're all sorted out) this is a brilliantly written post. Well done Chief.