My other half and I were having a talk this morning while I dropped him into work, he was explaining that all he wanted was to be happy, to which I replied, "Happiness requires a level of ignorance!" Thinking that would either (a) shut him up, or (b) escalate the talk to a row. He went for another response, "write a post on the blog about that", out of the car he hopped. So I thought about this statement, I looked at my two month old, wondered is he happy? He has very little self awareness of course, if he is hungry, wet, dirty or tired he's unhappy, but if he's not those things he's not happy, he will giggle if I kiss his tummy, but I don't know if that means he's happy.My two year old is upstairs now playing with her little friend, they are happy now, but in 20 minutes when I have to send her friend home she'll be distraught. Meanwhile my eldest is at a pool party, probably having a ball right now, he'll be tired and cranky when I pick him up!
I'm wondering what happiness is? How do we define it? Is it a feeling of well being, is it the opposite of sadness, or is it just a catch all phrase? What does it mean when we say I just want to be happy? Is it a naive desire? Is it a childish phrase? What if the things that make us happy make other people unhappy, do we want happiness at all costs? How many of us are "happy"? How much of the time are these people happy for? So why did I say to my hubby I thought some ignorance was required to be happy, well, my daughter is having a ball now, if she thought about the impending separation from her mate she'd be miserable, or that her room is now a tip and she'll have to "help" me clean up (her happiness depends on my unhappiness in a way, Happy kids = Messy room + unhappy mum).
I asked my husband if he thought many people he knew were "happy", he agreed that they didn't appear to be, the older we get, the more people rely on us, the more pressures there are on our shoulders (in other words when we grow up) it's harder to be happy! Happiness to me is a sense of lightness, which I do experience daily, my baby smiling (or stopping crying when I pick him up), My son turning into a man , surprising me with his intelligence and kindness, my daughter's innocence and joy at the things I take for granted, spooning with my husband, eating a nice meal I've cooked for my family, making someone laugh, making someone proud,these things make me happy.
But I still don't understand, "I just want to be happy", I think it's impossible, "JUST" to be anything, I'd love to meet the person who is just happy, is ignorance bliss? With the availability of drugs to change your mood now of course it is possible to be happy all the time but is that happiness? Or just an absence of sadness?