Thursday, June 07, 2007

Red Hot and Blue

A strange thing has happened to me since I became a parent, beastiality! In my life BC (Before Children), my sexual devienceies were socially acceptable, high heels, chocolate spread and vodka but since I've become a mother these have been replaced with more disturbing yearnings.

While sitting early morning watching TV with my daughter I find myself considering problems such as, "If I had to sleep with one of the Wiggles, which one would it be?", I don't know what series of events would result in me having to sleep with a wiggle, but hey it's fantasy! Murray is too tall, Jeff is too short, Greg is too yellow, is Anthony just right?

The worst thing to happen was lying dozing on the sofa at about seven one Sunday morning after a bottle of wine the night before while the little one was watching Bear in the Big Blue House, in my highly hungover, I mean suggestible state it wasn't long before I started to dream about Bear cha cha chaing and asking what that smell was, the dream then turned freaky and I can never look at him the same way again!

Parenthood has turned me into a freak alright but I have one question, does it count as bestiality if it's with a man in a bear suit? Or is that just kinky sex?


  1. A little from column A, a little from column B....

  2. Hmm dunno what the hubby would have to say about that, but I know I would never look at him the same again.

    God you youngsters and your weird sex fetishes!

  3. I am sure there is a name for people who like peeither dress up in furry costumes or have sex with them - it might be 'plushies', athough that might be some other related deviation.

    I saw the Cast of BITBBH having dinner in Wagamama one night - I recognised their weird 'human' actors from teh show, and they were wearing shirts with Bear logo on - I had to resist rushing over to ask who was Tutter and get some autographs!

    My daughter used to react with identical delight to the Bear and DR Phil when she was small, I think she identified their size and the friendly way they lumbered towards the camera with eachother.

  4. I do find Dr Phil attractive too I have to say I'd say he'd be very strict!!!
    Shan, My hubby is delighted with the furry boxer shorts I've bought him!
    Jo, I like the plushie tag, maybe I'll start a support group?

  5. I to have found Bear to be a turn on, dunno why.
    Nothing wrong with it really. And would it matter to anyone else if you had fantasies of having great fun with our furry fried? it is an educational show after all.
    To clear up a little from the other responses...someone that dresses up in a costume such as Bear's typically for the purpose of something erotic is called a Furry (the sex act while in these costumes is called yiffing). A Plushie is someone that finds stuffed animals erotic and normally has sex with stuffed animals... mind you these are titles that have many many variations and "sub-catagories"