A strange thing has happened to me since I became a parent, beastiality! In my life BC (Before Children), my sexual devienceies were socially acceptable, high heels, chocolate spread and vodka but since I've become a mother these have been replaced with more disturbing yearnings.
While sitting early morning watching TV with my daughter I find myself considering problems such as, "If I had to sleep with one of the Wiggles, which one would it be?", I don't know what series of events would result in me having to sleep with a wiggle, but hey it's fantasy! Murray is too tall, Jeff is too short, Greg is too yellow, is Anthony just right?
The worst thing to happen was lying dozing on the sofa at about seven one Sunday morning after a bottle of wine the night before while the little one was watching Bear in the Big Blue House, in my highly hungover, I mean suggestible state it wasn't long before I started to dream about Bear cha cha chaing and asking what that smell was, the dream then turned freaky and I can never look at him the same way again!
Parenthood has turned me into a freak alright but I have one question, does it count as bestiality if it's with a man in a bear suit? Or is that just kinky sex?