Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Arse! (literally)

I've been making more of an "effort" lately, wearing heels and dresses and skirts, instead of my awful jeans and T-Shirt combos. So today I put on a lovely lace skirt, all swirly and pretty, paired it up with my black top and boots, the first hitch (he he) in my plan happened as I left the house this morning my baby son vomited up all over my black top, so quick change and off we go!

Later on my way to pick up my daughter from Montessori the local Newspaper delivery guy shouted over at me "oy! Yours skirt is stuck in your pants!", "Arse! Thanks a million!" I rushed into the car and went to pick up my princess grateful I'd been spared the humiliation of the yummy mummys at the Montessori seeing my arse!

Nervously tugging at the back of my skirt I caught my little one as she rushed out of the door and into my arms (she does that everyday....highlight of my day) I popped into the car and off with the two weenies to Dundrum, all into a family trolley then a quick look around M&S before heading into the grocery bit for some midweek stuff (including 3 chickens??? Where does it all go?) The shopping passed without major incident and I got to the checkout, where the lovely middle aged lady there whispered, "sorry, your skirt is caught up"...........ARSE (in fact loads of arse in my size 18 black lacy boy shorts...sounds OK until I mention the ripped fishnets over them).

The funny thing was I wasn't embarrassed, I suppose having numerous smear tests and three babies I feel everyone and her daughter has seen my bits! I can only imagine the snickering going on at the Montessori....maybe I'll say it's deliberate! Fashion statement? Wardrobe malfunction? The checkout woman then went on to ask me what age the kids were...obviously I get away with my appearance cos I've got little! I'm gonna start going out in those fancy dress costumes in the attic, get some wear out of them!


  1. You're definitely going to have to start wearing the snake.

    Last year I gave support classes to ana utistic girl - and one day, her lovely capable assistant from Cavan gently whispered im a motherly 'put your top on the right way round, Jo, it's inside out'.

    I'm the one who needs the special needs assistant, I can't even dress myself for work. The worst thing is that it's not the first time it's happened.

  2. I'm an idiot...I need a special needs assistant to help me maintain my dignity throughout the day!

  3. Not sure which I got the better smile from; the story or the cow wearing pants.

  4. Do you know what's great? That people pointed it out to you and weren't too shy. I wanted to tell a girl her zip was open on her skirt on the bus once and my husband wouldn't let me - he felt it was more embarrassing to be told.

    I always want to be told!

  5. I had a skirt in knickers moment, slash 5 minutes, in July, as I stood facing the traffic on the keys in Temple Bar. I discovered it myself. Bad.