Monday, September 24, 2007

Well Hello Mrs McFrillyknickers!

Yes, I am a mossie no longer. As you may or may not have guessed, the working title of this blog alludes to the fact that I am a newlywed – well, if you still count as a newlywed when you have been married for 6 months, which I have… as of Today! I haven’t quite given up my maiden name yet, remain the same in work so as not to confuse the poor customers and colleagues, but have decided that it is time to get the ball rolling as far as changing the name outside the workplace is concerned. I have sent off for the form to renew my drivers licence. Have phoned the bank to see what the usual procedure is in relation to changing the name on my accounts and all that lark. Am going to leave the passport be however, seeing as I just renewed it for another 10 years not so long ago and to be honest, cant really afford to fork out more money to the passport office right now. I suppose some of you (if anyone is actually reading this) are wondering why I’m not doing the “modern” thing and leaving my name as it is. In all honesty, I’m not too sure either. All I know is that, for me, it feels like the right thing to do. I know that my husband would prefer us to have the same surname, but he wouldn’t object if I decided to retain my maiden name either. I guess there is an element of thinking that when (if) we have kids that we, as a family, will all share the same surname. It does help that my new surname kinda reminds me of my old one and therefore to my ears has quite a nice ring to it. However, if the new surname was, oh I don’t know, “McFrillyknickers” or something, I would most likely leave well enough alone!


  1. Congrats! I took my husband's name because I didn't like my own and have ambiguous feelings about my family! If I had, I would,''ve kept it though. My aunt was born a Smithcors and married a Williams. What would you do? I also loved the idea of a chance at a fresh start, adopting a new identity.

    At the end of the day, your maiden name is still your father's family name, there's nothing that feminist about keeping it, IMO.

    I think it's definitely less comfusing all round if you hae kids, to share a family name. But simply for administrative reasons, I suppose. And I'd like to have the same name as my kids' - how would you decide whose to use?

    The same aunt remarried - to a Bollwinkle (pronounced Bullwinkle). You can guess she stayed a Williams!

  2. I actually insisted my wife not take mine because I've just never liked the way it sounded, particularly with her christian name. I pointed out to her that I fell in love with her, name and all, and that was the way I wanted it to stay.

    How, Mossie, I wish our surname was "McFrillyknickers". How cool would that be? :)

  3. Let's all become McFrillyknickers together......

    Just like these dudes..

  4. Wouldn't you like to be a McFrillyKnickers too? (FrillyKnickers, be a Frillyknickers.......)

  5. I think we should all change our names to McFrillyknickers! Then we can be the McFrillyknickerses!

  6. I got married this year, too! I went for the double barrel option... I was going to keep my name mostly because even as a little girl I found it highly unfair that the man got to keep his and the woman had to give up hers so I've been saying for at least 20 years that I won't give up my name when I get married. Then, also, I'm here in Ireland and all my family are at home abroad, my name connects me and makes me feel less cut off. And my husband said I can do whatever I prefer, as long as I'm aware of there's no way in hell that he will change his!
    However when it came to actually deciding I chickened out on not taking on his; mostly because I thought I would regret not having a common surname with our future children... there also was surprisingly substantial outrage from my sisters in law, who had given up their names and thought i was mental to even consider just sticking with my own.
    So, compromise, here i am, Mrs. Myname-His! (I'm not a fan of the hyphen, I boycott it for all but my passport where it was compulsory)
    Talking of passports, I spent a whole morning queueing outside and inside my embassy in dDblin, with my disgruntled (building up to fuming) husband who had to be present to agree and sign for me to attach his name to mine (outrage!) and to pick a last name for future children (his). It cost me close to 100€ 4 months ago and i still don't have my new passport!
    I was so regretting the decision that day...
    But I am quite happy now with my new fancy sounding name! I went from 2 syllables up to 3, and from 5 letters to 8, so at least it's not a mouthful like that German politician: Sabine Leutheusser-Schnarrenberger!!

  7. Women are always divided on this, the fact that we have the option to take our husbands name doesn't mean we have to, it just means we can.
    My mum (64) didn't really like my dad's family cos they treated him very badly, she took his name, because she loved him, and she had no other option.
    So last year my mum got the gravestone put up on my parents grave, yes, it's still empty, but with the full permission of my dad (like he had a choice) she has her name down as double barrelled.
    She missed her maiden name, it was her identity before she became a wife and mother, as her parents and other family members passed away it became more important to her to celebrate her family.
    So I have my dad's surname but I am very fond of my mum's maiden name too.
    When I got married I kept my own name, my eldest son was double barrelled at my husbands instance, but I didn't mind, so he's a Wrangler - Living but the other two are just Living, my son only uses the Living bit. I have never had any problem having a different name from the kids, if people assume my hubby and I are "living in sin" great, that makes us sound much more exciting, after 17 years together (exactly half our lives) it shouldn't matter if we are the ?Hitlers!
    On a funny point, my hubby and I sloped off to get married, only telling our families and friends after a couple of months.A couple of years later When I was in Holles street having my first son, my waters had just broken and I was having contractions, my in-laws came into visit me and had some difficulty finding me, my father in law asked me was I really married to his son, seeing as I hadn't taken their name! Imagine, I didn't even punch him!

  8. If I ever got married (which I never will) I would insist that my husband keep his name but our kids if we had any (which we would definitely not) would have my name. Actually cut out the middle man and just don't get married then everyone gets to keep their own name and the kids would have my name. I never understood why the kids would have the fathers name and not the mothers, anyone know why??
    Ps SL, Your wife's first name with your surname would be nothing short of completely cool and actually quite fitting givin one of her hobbies, like something out of a kids storybook where the characters surnames allude to their occupation, hehe!

  9. Kids take the fathers name as a kind of paternity sign....this one is mine, he has my name. Generally women know who is the father of their children, men have no such foolproof way of being sure before DNA!

  10. Sir name = sire name - patriarchal society. The Spanish are always shocked - they use both their parents' names.

    MW, that's a nasty labour/inlaws story! But I will refrain fom further comment...

    I'm still not sure there's a huge differece between keeping your father's name or taking your husband's.

  11. Congrats on your new marriedness!

    Between the 5 current members of our family we have 3 different surnames and I can't think of one single instance where it has caused any problems.
    I never considered for a second changing my name. It just never occured to me. I have no issues with anybody changing their name for any reasons, just don't like the assumption that it should be done by women.

  12. Wrangler-Living! You make us sound like an ad campaign for jeans.

    Am all for the whole group taking on McFrillyknickers as a group surname. Just look - which of our names doesn't look cooler with it?

    penny McFrillyknickers
    pretty in pink McFrillyknickers
    PolkaDot McFrillyknickers
    Tiberius Gracchus-McFrillyknickers
    Midget Wrangler-McFrillyknickers
    Idiot McFrillyknickers
    Milan Adenauer-McFrillyknickers
    Conformist No. 2 McFrillyknickers
    Someone Living-McFrillyknickers
    jothemama McFrillyknickers
    Mossienolonger McFrillyknickers(of course)
    fitzy McFrillyknickers
    goldenbeers McFrillyknickers
    The Chieftain McFrillyknickers
    Shanachie McFrillyknickers
    Atreus McFrillyknickers
    aquaasho McFrillyknickers


  13. MNL - I'm at the age of having friends get married since late 90s. Am only back from one and have another this Sat that clashes with the gathering. Anyway, late 90s fashion was to keep maiden name - that is so totally out of fashion now its a social faux-pas.

    Early 2000s fashion was to take husbands name at first child's birth or when they started school. For the last 3 years its the fashion to have your name changed while on honeymoon. Seriously. My friend who got married last Oct and kept her name was publicly dismissed at her wedding for conceiving of not changing her name. I think its a pride thing at succeeding in finding a husband, or just the changeable fashions.