Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Do You Like Pina Coladas?

Recently Milan put up a post about her stalker and her own stalking activities which got me thinking about my own love life (doesn't take much to get me thinking about that to be fair). In December my husband and i will be together for 17 years, I will be 34 and 8 months when this happens, so for the first time my life in this relationship will be longer than my life was outside of it! What I'm getting at is that I have very little experience of what Milan is (s)talking about (hehe), dating, meeting people the whole shebang! Am I missing much?

I've been listening to a bit of secret music recently, the oldies that I love from the 70's and 80's, like the pina colada song, some 10cc anyone? I love these corny love songs, the singer songwriter thing, bearded men with pianos, singing about beautiful women "You're an uptown up tempo woman, I'm a downtown, downbeat guy", I love this crap, it's like honey to me! But as I sing along to these songs I have no idea what they are going on about. Unlike most of you I've never really lived in that world.

At 14 I had my first kiss from an English guy called either Nicky or Ricky (there were two of them, matching pastel Miami Vice jackets, anyway all the English look alike to me) we were on holiday in Westport, they were too...it was yucky! Then at 16 I met my husband and his group of friends, my hubby was interested in me but i developed an unrequited crush on his friend, we used to wrestle together...not professionally mind you, just for fun. At 17 one of my hubby friends asked me if another friend could have my number (it was my friend fancies your friend) I couldn't remember what this guy looked like but I said OK, he called my folks house that night, we spoke on the phone for a few weeks, then one Saturday we went to a movie (with the friend as escort). I can't remember the movie, when I met him I thought "Oh, he's the guy with the lovely brown eyes......look at those vampire fangs!" He actually did the yawn to put his arm around me thing, and the kissing? Well there was a lot of kissing, I had blisters...remember he had fangs! We dated for 3 months, he was fascinated with my boobs, I often wished I could just leave the three of them alone! There was some "dry riding" as we called it then, but that was it....nothing below the belt (well he tried but I had no interest). Why did this love affair end? I laughed too loud......seriously!

So in the December of my 17th year I decided that my friendship with my now husband was a bit fucked up, he liked me but seemed to just rub me up totally the wrong way, yet we were close and confided in each other, so I decided the way to sort it out was to have a snog (I hadn't had any action since fang boy in the summer). So my hubby got a letter from me laying out this plan and on the 5th of December he showed up in my parents house, we went for a walk, saw some friends and at 8pm in my bedroom to the sound of Madonna Crazy for you we had our first kiss. I won't go into details, but it was the most amazing moment in my life. I lost my virginity a week before my 18th birthday the following April....and that's it, there has been nothing since, this is all I've known.

It's odd in this century to be 34 and never to have had your heart broken, never divided up the CD collection, never been stood up or gone on a blind date. I'm grateful for the stability in my life, I'm grateful for the gift of a relationship that has weathered 17 years, three children and a few blips. But I'm also envious of those people who experience the highs of falling in love, the wonder of the "getting to know you" phase, that initial you can do no wrong passion. The thing I wonder most about though is who would I be if I wasn't in this relationship, you know people are different in different relationships, sometimes a relationship can really change a person or bring out the best (or worst) in them, people grow and learn through relationship mistakes, I've never experienced that. Does that mean I'm less developed?

Of course over the years I had crushes (so has my hubby "wait till I tell you what Mary in accounts did today....Mary in accounts is sooo funny..) but I've never been a stalker (I hope) or a stalkee (boo hoo) and that sounds like fun! Anyway this whole post about my love life to date was just an excuse to put up another cheesy video....


  1. I love your post MW, and all the stories. Reaction 1, you give the impression I'm a hot lovin woman on the scene when you know I'm anything but. I've more to learn from whatever you get back than you do. Reaction 2, anger at the people I know who have all the experiences you mention & make me feel like scum because I don't. At the worst moment of my adult life I had a friend suggest that I wouldn't really know life until I've had my heart broken. I know of far worse things. I vehemently hate people who think they've experienced good and bad worse than you just because they've done normal good & bad. I'll get them back one day, in a parallel universe maybe.

    Breath in...breath out..

    p.s. I love 80s cheese & all nostalgia music too.

  2. Brilliant, beautiful post, MW, so articulate, well plotted, well paced, honest, funny... erm, A+!

    I have all of your questions, and none of your answers, though I was a bigger slut compared to you and I've got three up on you!

    Had my heart broken at 15, not such a worthwhile experience it turns out... and I don't think dividing up the cd collection is a good experience for anyone.

    My 100 list made me think about a lot of this stuff. I wanted to put kissing in, then I realised I hadn't really been kissed in years, and chances re I never will be again. How awful is that? I wish I could be a loose 17 year old again at will, that's how I'd spend my weekends...

  3. Milan, I know you well enough to know how mature and balanced you are, people always think we know what's good for everyone, don't we? You live a very complete life, people with kids are probably jealous of your freedom (I am)! Live your life true to your inner voice and you'll be happy! Glad you like the music, will I be able to get you off the mic at my 40th?

    Jo, A+ Wow! I suppose you could try the kissing thing with your hubby? I like to kiss my hubby (freaks out the kids) we try to make time everyday, but it's easy to forget isn't it?

  4. Milan, heartbreak? Highly overrated. You can well do without it.

  5. I can't remember too much heartbreak (probably glad it was over!) but you've brought back memories of the beginning of relationships which I remember well. Those days or weeks at the start when you walk round with a spring in your step and a warm feeling, just like you got on your birthday as a kid!!! LOL!
    You can still get glimmers of that by flirting with people. No harm to smile at handsome people, especially if they're driving past in a car and you'll never see them again! I sound like a slapper now huh!!!?

  6. Nope, flirting rules, we should all do more of it!

  7. Yea I love flirting. I always say its an art in itself, it doesn't even need any associated courting.