Friday, December 14, 2007

A day in the life of a idle deceased Roman senator

You'll have to bear with me on this one folks, because even more so than on my other posts this is likely to be the most incoherent rambling that I've yet to unleash upon you.

It was pointed out to me recently that that probably plays a large role in the lack of comments I get. I like to think it's more in keeping with the fact that my extensively constructed posts emcompass a surmation of our collective thoughts and thus don't require comment..........

Anyway, I was out of work sick yesterday, spent the guts of 36 hours in bed, looking at the four walls, listening to various radio stations on my Internet radio wondering how people who are on the dole or locked up as sex slaves manage to get through a day of doing sweet FA. I decided instead to fill my day today up with plenty of randomness just to get myself back in the saddle. What follows is somewhat of an account of what useless tribulations kept me amused/entertained/intrigued....

1. The scourge of laziness
Is there some new national veto on walking that I slept through? Met a former colleague of mine who works in a building opposite the American embassy. Explained that I was walking into town to which she laughed, I wandered on while she waited at the bus stop. 15mins later I met same said former colleague getting off a bus at Mount Street to be greeted by a comment akin to "well you wasted your time walking didn't you?". Now surely me walking into town, getting there in the same time that she it took her is a better use of my time than her waiting to stand on a bus?
2. Idiots Shop.......
is lovely, particlarly like the window display and the friendly staff. A nice young lady twice asked me if I wanted help. Not in any of an obtrusive way like in others shops. Didn't seek out our cyber cousin but might the next time. Best of luck with it. I really like what you've done with the place it looks much better than it did when Greenes' was there.
3. Arseholes in queues
Can someone explain why people queue up to ask if a shop has something in stock? Why not ask some of the many sales staff around the shop. Happened to me twice today in seriously long queues. Both of them computer shops. Why join a line for 20mins to ask if somewhere has a Wii in stock or a DS or when will they be back in when you could just ask any of the other people standing around?
4. Modern Day Lyrical Genius
Have lyrics in songs gone to the dogs completely? Had the misfortune of twice hearing Cascada's Miracle on the wireless. That's what's going to happen in a city where all your radio stations are carbon copies of each other, except Phantom of course who has audio that sounds like it's been processed through a badger's rectum. Anyway, the joyous German electro act open with the lines
Does that mean to imply that this lass was cheated on by a male friend who did the bauld thing doggy style with some other jezzabelle? I'm sure the great wordsmiths of music - Dylan, Lennon & McCarthy, Simon, (the highly unrated) Springsteen are all shitting it that they didn't come up with that.
5. Pre-Xmas sales
Are they designed to entice those of us involved in last minute shopping to buy Granny a half priced Munster jersey in Elvery's or piss off people who spent €90 doing same in September quitely content with their forward planning?


  1. Yes, we must walk more.

    I bet Idiot's well paranoid now, wondering who's checkin him out in secret! It's hard to come out of the closet though, because you'd have to say 'Are you the Idiot?' and if it wasn't him.... remind me of a scence from an old b&w film I saw called 'CAnterbury Bells' where they ask direcetions of a stuttering grinning man who just keeps replying 'Th-th-th-thats Roight' to everything, they finally asks 'Are you the village idiot?' and he gives the same reply. that stuck in my head for some reason.

    i think 'You cheated on me from behind' is the best lyric ever!

  2. 1 damn those anti-walkers.
    3 I ask the nearest person- as usual I've a no wait policy
    4 - I don't know the song but laughed anyway.
    5 - I think it's to celebrate the late shoppers like me. I've started doing some for my ma but haven't even done up my own list yet.

  3. 1 - Bloddy right Tib! Seems that people have forgotten how to use their legs these days.

    2 - Damn, when am I going to organise that flashmob? We all need to dress like characters from The Prisoner.

    3 - People at Christmas? Geniuses.

    4 - Cascada - bringing the previously forbidden topic of love from behind to the masses

    5 - As you pointed out to me yourself if only we'd all give IOU notes on Christmas Day we'd make a killing on the 26th.