Irrational fears

First post has got me feeling fearful.

When I was growing up I think the only little fear I really had was large spiders crawling up to my face in my sleep. Anything found in my room was always quickly disposed of by the first family member I could convince to do my dirty work. I even survived a mice infestation to our attic without any complaint, after a while the scuttling at night kind of lulled me to sleep.

Anyway, out of nowhere I have developed a fear of birds. Obviously, not just random birds, mainly those evil little pigeons that hang around in droves and start flying about all over the place when disturbed. I never really noticed at home but it's becoming a bit embarrassing here in Oz where there are pigeons and seagulls a plenty on the coast. If they don't move I'm grand but if those wings start flapping, I start running and shrieking simultaneously. What a girl, I feel like giving myself a slap every time it happens.

I wonder is there any way I can just train myself to cop on and live and let live with our flying friends. I mean, it's fairly unlikely one will actually come pecking at my face a la 'The Birds', isn't it? Well, you would think so but I witnessed first hand a bird swoop in and start pecking at a muffin that was in my other half's mouth!

Apart from the birds issue

I cannot have a shower with the bathroom door open because obviously this is asking for someone to come in and murder me while I'm having my daily herbal essences moment

I am scared of mayonnaise near me or any food I might want to eat

I had major surgery on one of my lovely limbs and live in perpetual fear that the plates inserted will somehow start to come out though my skin randomly.

I have yet to open a bottle of sparkling wine myself because I'm scared the cork will somehow come back and hit me in the face

I guess you could say I fear pressurised containers in general. I was once involved in a stand off with a housemate as to who would pull the trigger on our fire extinguisher when there was a incident with some innocent popcorn making in the kitchen. Both of us were scared the 'force' would send us flying to the wall. We stood with the alarm going off, shouting at each other over the noise while the room gradually got smokier until finally we did a captain planet and combined our powers to set the thing off.

Yep, I'm sorry to say, I am a major scaredy cat my friends.