Tuesday, March 04, 2008

The acceptance speech. Even though we lost.

I think I'm coming at the very, very end of a long string of posts about the Blog Awards so I'll be mercifully brief. It was great, like a few others, to lurk in the shadows and see all the luminaries of the blogging world in glorious 3D. Drank way too much, we all looked fab.

Oh and hi Gingerpixel. She reads here :)

On the very off chance we were going to win Best Group Blog, MW wrote a speech which I polished and she was going to deliver on my behalf. Shame to let all her good work go to waste I think.

My fellow Bloggarians,

In the Summer of 2007, I, most benign overlord of the For Nine Pounds universe, finally realised the lifelong dream of starting my own commune of pickers devoted to the lima bean with a small blog on the side.

It was originally intended to provide information about the harvest but has since degenerated into posts about gay rugby icons, the blind prostitute of Phibsboro and how to give blow jobs. What can I say, you just can't get the writing staff these days.

I, on the other hand, toil endlessly in my mansion on the construction of our spaceship which will take us to Blisstonia, where levels of bliss are the highest in the known universe. Over time some of our followers have fallen by the wayside. I sincerely hope the authorities luck in their continuing quest to find their bodies.... I mean whereabouts. In the meantime we continue to garnish their salaries and live in their properties hopeful of their speedy return.

I would like to thank, for their unpaid labour in the lima bean fields, all of the LBPs across 2 continents. All except Milan, that dirty backstabbing cow. Ha, ha, who's your daddy now?

And so I would like you all to conclude with a chant:

The Leader is good,
The Leader is great,
We surrender our will,
As of this date.

Or, if this fails to catch on:

Dinna, ninna, ninna, ninna, Leader!!!

Many thanks,

Someone Living - divine, immortal and perpetual leader, 4nine£

It certainly would have gotten us all noticed...

10 comments:

  1. I was just wondering how I missed the blow job post, but thinking about it now, I may have commented... oh dear.

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  2. Then we could have risen as one and showered the crowd with lima bean husks...

    I'd have cried

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  3. Jo if it makes you feel any better, I think I missed the blow job post as well. Must pay more attention...

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  4. Mental note for next year...let's not get stage fright as a collective should we be nominated or indulge ourselves in countless "we're great posts"

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  5. I don't know, I thought it was half the fun :) - especially given that fact that we didn't win, I think we got our pound of flesh out of the whole thing!

    Imagine if we'd been all modest and quiet about it, and not won anything. That would have been a bummer.

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  6. Mr pink, I would have appreciated your input on the blowjob post. Maybe it's time or another :)

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  7. Speaking of stage fright, kudos to everyone for taking up the empty front row. :-D

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  8. Guys I will do another blow job post.....It will be instructional this time...but people will add comments that can improve peoples techniques....It's taken me bloody 17 years to get it right.....

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  9. Jesus lads, how can you all have forgotten so easily?

    http://forninepounds.blogspot.com/2007/07/blow-jobs.html

    One of our most viewed posts EVER for some reason.

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