Friday, March 14, 2008

A Milan by any other name would smell as sweet..


Woke up late this morning, first time since yesterday, so decided to skip the shower and chance for getting in on time. It worked. Just about. Then I was running all over the shop in work and this evening, with the result that I was a bit minging by the end of the night. I could sense myself being more sweaty than normal but at this stage there was nothing I could do about it and I wasn't sure whether it was bad enough that others were noticing. So I decided to keep that extra few inches distant from people in the pub. Then I was up dancing with the lads from work and did my best to restrict my arm movements so that they were never raised higher than my elbows. I avoided tying my hair back. Whenever any of the lads got momentary physically close in the spirit of the dance, I was waiting to see if they would recoil. I'm not sure if they did.

But I survived, and I sit here oozing pheromones as I type. But the question is, what would you have done in this situation? Would you have called it a day early on, or just not give a fuck cause everyone's pissed anyway?


  1. I would have hit a spar, bought some Lynx and liberally sprayed the crap all over myself.

    I sometimes use deflection also.

    Like - oooohh your a bit wiffy buddy.

    They go off feeling embarrassed and if there are any smells from then on in just keep looking at them shaking your head a bit.

  2. Often after running a race there wouldn't be showers and even with the use of baby wipes I'd still be whiffy so I always put on dry clean running gear like a hoodie or leggings as if to say "I've been engaged in sport so I may be smelly" until I get home to have a shower. However I can never understand the people who put on normal clothes, jeans and shirts or whatever straight after the race and head to the pub or wherever the after-race prizegiving is. I think it's a bit gross. Whereas being smelly for a good reason is normal.

  3. Sex, when I have sex I like that smell hanging around all that gross?

    Too much information!


  4. Actually, smelling like sex would be preferable to the smell of LYNX.......Oh god, who invented that, does it ever smell nice?

  5. It's the lynx on top of stale sweat that's the worst - so idiot, I don't like that tactic - though the deflection is hysterical.

    I think carrying some nice moist wipes is the way to go. And deodorant. Don't get caught out. I let it happen all the time, it's terrible, but sometimes I just can't be bothered! I'm in denial as I leave the house but then always regret it later.

  6. Well I can just see us fornine girly blokes wandering around the place with packets of moist wipes on us..


  7. moist wipes, strawberry lip balm, doilies, coors light.. Idiot I know what's on the gift list for the next party in your gaff.

  8. Did someone mention a party in Idiot's gaff?

  9. Hehe, idiot...

    Honestly - it is a no brainer. Of course I go to the pub!!! But I do go and wash up the instant I feel any smell. (I couldn't go to work without my shower, cause that's where I wake up.)

    After washing-up, I get some deodorant. Either buy one on my way to the pub - or - as I did last time: ask my friend to bring one. Now, how gross is that?! :D