Monday, April 28, 2008

Too easy

Idiot's filthy efforts earlier reminded be a bar story.

I was at a busy bar abroad last night and there were tons of people waiting to get served. Never in the humour of queuing for long, I decided to use one of my many subconscious manipulation bar service tricks. This time I went for the one where you firmly ask aloud your order to the bar person who isn't looking anywhere near you. It works because the bar person, who can be a bit befuddled by the crowds, responds automatically when they hear the clarity of the order. It was too easy. It doesn't work as well here, nor would you ever get away with it with an experienced bar person.

My usual trick is to keep a strict eye focus on the bar person and then leap once they make contact.

What do you do?


  1. I generally turn around and point at something away from the bar. People are so nosey they always look. This gives you free access to the barman.

  2. Ha! That works better than my ploy, which is to stand there meekly, being ignored and getting increasingly frustrated.

    In all honesty, I'm amazed at the skill of Irish barmen. I couldn't believe it when I was in England - you order your first drink, they interrupt you, go pour it, then come back and ask what the next is! It's so slow!

  3. I hate busy bars however the other half stands there meekly and put's up one finger when there's no response the second finger goes up , still nothing then its three fingers . Then I get annoyed and go up full of rage and get served.

  4. I try and get someone else (unknown) to order my drinks/pints as well. Us exchanging money on the other side of the bar usually gets the attention of the bar staff. 1 larger order, and plenty of tips.

    Love your method though, Milan, but would NOT work in Sweden. They'd just ignore me even more.

  5. Firstly, is London "abroad"?

    I was at the BAFTA's four years ago, at the after party there was a free bar, imagine in a really poncy hotel in london, free bar, famous people, and Midge, who wouldn't be the most media savy person in the world, I was waiting to get served, and none of the usual tricks worked, so I turned to the guy standing beside me, who was about 7 feet tall (I'm 5'3" in my heels!) and in my most sweet Orish accent asked if he could order my drinks for me because I was so shy and I'd never been to london before! Apart from looking at me a bit strangly he did as I asked and I thanked him, walked away, over to where my friend was waiting, where she told me he was some english soap tv guy.....I had no idea, "Holly oaks?" But he must have thought I was an idiot, not to recognise him, my friend and I used that method of getting served all evening! Worked!

  6. Maybe it was Stephen Merchant, Ricky Jervais's writing partner from the Office and Extras. He's a total giant.