Friday, May 30, 2008

Idoit Vs the Mossies

Hello everyone. Sorry I have not been around. No excuses bar a holiday and not being arsed. Oh and moving.....

So anyway last week saw myself and Aoife return to Spain to chillax for a bit. The weather was great, got upgraded to a merc, had a new sat nav so no pressure driving about. All in all a great trip. Apart from one little thing...

The mood was light and a cool breeze wafted from the fan on the counter. Having just finished eating, Aoife and Idiot sat having a few drinks at the bar enjoying the warmth and the prospect of no work the next day.

All of a sudden there is the explosive sound of windows breaking and the restaurant is filled with 7 foot high sword wielding mosquito's. Attracted to Idiots sensitive skin and sweet blood they immediately pounced. Stabbing furiously they managed to eek as much as they could before getting to fat. Left ankle, right ankle. Right heel, left side of ribcage, right side of ribcage, left elbow. The attacks were fast and no riposte possible. Top of head, right temple. Idiot starts to get angry and slaps like a moron trying to rid himself of the 7 foot pests. Then the whoreson of all mosquito's arrives and decides to make it personal... neck 7 times, right elbow twice, right forearm 6 times.

Staggering out of the massacred restaurant Idiot and Aoife weave there way toward the sanctuary that is air con and finally get to sleep......

A metamorphosis has occurred that night and Idiot awakes to find gigantic pustules all over his body. He wants to scrape of his skin, the itchiness is nearly overpowering. Through the day the pustules grow until he looks like a leper with a gigantic right forearm. The pain becomes unbearable and the two weary travellers set of to find a pharmacy....

A week and a bit later and the marks remain. Where is that whoreson of a mossie now? Is he waiting? Thirsting for a further taste of Idiot??

Will let you all know about the move next time



  1. Shudder. Horrors...

    That's what you get for using the 'word' 'chillax', though :)

    For shame!

  2. Ah Jo, Chillax chicolita, all is good in tha hood

  3. you poor baby saw the bite's awful. you chillax as much as you want. They are probably waiting for me next week in Italy sorry that you took after me.

  4. 'you chillax as much as you want' - hee!

  5. Classic Idiot stuff. I have a few myself right now but not anywhere near that much. I used to be a demon for the bites but (not saying too loudly) I haven't been as bad in recent years.