it don't look much but I've been far

Went to the pub for a catch up session with a friend over from Germany and I gave her a lift home to Baldoyle afterwards. It was around midnight, nice enough evening.

I came back the backroads into Donamede before hitting the M50 extension but had a few mishaps along the way.

Firstly, I arrived at a T-junction that was a bit blind (A). When I came out onto the road a car came out of nowhere so I speeded up to make sure we didn't crash (it turns out later this is a garda car who think that I'm a mad lunatic for turning out in front of them and then speeding up).

Then I'm taking the next left but can't remember where exactly it is and all of a sudden it appears out of nowhere (B) so I slow down and take the widest of all turns in history, I'm well past the wrong side of the road at the time.

I decide to slow down a bit and be proper and orderly so drop down to 30mph. I take a right onto the M50 and am moseying along when I hear the squad car. I think it wants to get passed so edge in to the right without slowing down. He's not going anywhere and I realise it's for me (C).

I pull over.

Roll down window. Yes, sorry, three bags full.

"Sorry Gard, I had the music on loud" (first of many ridiculous excuses I've come up with on the spur of the moment).

"You were all over the road there. Have you been drinking?"

I say no - he already knows this from my pupils.

There's a pause. Garda is befuddled that someone sober could be driving so erratically. It's not the first time I've got this look.

He turns to me again, "you weren't taking drugs were you?"

I say no, laughing - but not offensively.

I go three bags full again and Garda wanders off in a daze, not knowing what to make of me and my driving.


Victory again for the sober driving maniac.