Wednesday, September 03, 2008

The hardest post ever.

Hey guys, well I have been contemplating this for quite some time, and kept putting it off, I have even spoken in depth to Milan and Someone Living about it and now have finally come to a decision.

I am retiring from the blog, trust me it has not been an easy decision to make and the amount of people I have spoken to about this is incredible.

Why now? well after a year and a bit I feel the blog has finally found a purpose and I ain't part of it anymore, the mayhem and randomness has gone, and I dunno, thats what I enjoyed, and I am not enjoying it anymore. I have been blogging for a long time now, since 2005, and I knew eventually this day would come, every blog finds its direction, and I am thrilled to have been able to help, in a small way, guide us down to this path. Now though I find the path taken is somewhere I don't want to pursue.

I had every intention as discussed with SL that the party in my house was going to be my retirement party, and I would announce it during the night. Something stopped me and has continued to stop me for the past few weeks, that something is the fact that I don't want to lose the friends I have met through being here the past year and a bit, (you guys know who you are).

I sincerely hope that people will keep in touch with me, even though I may not be here, you know where my blog is, you all know where I live and the majority of you have my phone number, did I tell you I got an iPhone.

When SL asked me to join up here, along with the few remaining original people, I was honoured but was also petrified of what I should be doing, over the year I am thrilled to realise I can write on blogs and people seemed to enjoy what I was writing, you have no idea how happy that made me feel, so happy that my photoblog has taken a different direction now and has plenty of written stuff aswell as photos, you guys had that affect on me and I am forever grateful.

This post really has been the hardest post I have ever written, and as I type I am nearly in tears, yes believe it or not I do have serious emotions, but I feel it has to be done.

Please don't close the door fully on me and who knows maybe some day you can welcome me back to the fold.

I seriously love you guys!



  1. Ah, Shan.

    Don't leave, just post now and again - er - like you do anyway...

    I have to admit, I'm not sure what you mean by the direction the blog is taking. To me that suggests a decision being made about what it's for, but it's not like there's been any consensus.

    I think people have had personal troubles, and we've all run out of the initial enthusiasm. You can see it in Darren and Lottie, the same new verve. It'll fade, mark my words... (evil cackle)

    I don't think we ever found much of an answer to address the stagnation issue. But I also don't think we looked for one much, or made many attempts other than getting in newbies, which was a definite positive.

    At the end of the day, I don't think it's working because if you look at the names on the list on the right, how many posts in the last six months? You need all of them to give it that energy and it does make sense that it isn't really there. I'm as guilty as the rest - but it's hard to force it. My last one is forcing it, and it's not really worth it, is it?

    I'd have to agree, at this stage, the buzz is really gone. Maybe it is time to put it to bed.

  2. I disagree with your comment that the buzz is gone, far from it, new commenters have come on board, posts are still going up, but without any of us deciding the blog was to change, it just did, it was inevitable, no consensus was needed, I have seen it on so many other blogs over the years.

    Milan said the exact same thing, why not just slip back and write when ready, I am at the moment writing like a good thing on my own blog, so its not that its a lack of ideas, but maybe what I want to write about no longer fits in here.

    Its really hard to explain, I cant even explain it to Mrs Shan or anyone for that matter, its a feeling I have and my post I think was my best way to explain it.

  3. I don't know where to start. Sad that one of our original members has left. I'll disagree with you about any direction we take here Shan. Have we ever had one? ;) Our mantra was always that everyone wrote whatever they felt like, no style, no direction, no rules.

    And I'm more aware now than ever that we are a crossroads...

    Do we just call it a day? Possible.

    Do we open the doors and invite lots of new blood in? Possible.

    As Shan has pointed out though we're not short of readers or commenters, that's not the issue.

    Maybe I'm just tired of pushing, even though it has made the most incredible friendships over time.


  4. Ah, no, I didn't mean to disagree with your feeling. Just that I didn't quite understand it explicitly. You were subtle (diplomatic?) enough, after all.

    I hope you're right about the buzz. You're certainly right about new commenters etc.

    I suppose it's just like relationships - perhaps we're just in the telly and slippers comfort zone now?

  5. I don't think you need to push at all SL, I think what is happening here is great, as you know I have always advocated trying to get new commenters and this is happening every post now.

    In relation to this path, that seems to be in my head obviously, but I do think we never had our feet on the ground we floated in air, and that was what gave me a buzz, knowing that everytime I logged on I never knew what to expect, it could be a serious post about death, followed by how many orgasms I got from my chinese vibrator, it was chaotic, but what distinguished forninepounds as a very unique blog, as we have said on many occasions we did not know what category we fitted in to. I just feel its lost that uniqueness.

    Maybe this is all in my head but its been there for well over a month now, so this decision has not come lightly.

    As I said to you last week I am having trouble even explaining it in my head, so trying to explain to everyone here is a real head fuck.

  6. Well, whatever happens, no decisions are permanent as has been proven by others here before :)

  7. I thought I ended my handing in my notice letter to take that very much into account hehe

  8. wow really hits home when you see your name off the sidebar lol, and from down here in Bray goodnight.

  9. okay - feel a little like the newbie in the corner that has sat at the wrong desk, spilled coffee on the bosses shirt and got the photocopier jammed.


    I am sorry you're leaving Shan. Maybe it's just a phase.....

  10. Good luck Shan. Life moves on and all that. I'm not brave enough to make your decision although I've been in a negative 49p space for many months now.

    A record of our mutual history is now permantently fixed in cyberspace for future generations to discover. I fantasise about descendants uncovering our identities and reading the things we felt free to say in our honeymoon phase.

  11. Good luck Shan! I've been enjoying your own blog lately and you'll have a regular reader in me over there.

    Don't say 'goodbye', just 'catch you later'. Maybe you could return for the occasional guest post?

  12. Hmmmm I know you have spoken to me about this and just to say you have to follow your gut bro. Peeps here will be seeing a lack of posts from myself at the moment because I am in a similar boat. Maybe its just the crappy weather or mental male hormones but I have lost some of the love :(

  13. I just found this a few weeks ago and have to say I love it, I've known about it for a while but only really came in and started commenting a few weeks ago as I set up my own blog, I think it's great and allows short posts and personal interaction with it's posters :-).

  14. Well to be honest I just wanted to leave kinda quietly and am amazed I have opened up a worm hole, once again one of my posts gets things going again this time for the wrong reasons.

    I never meant for jo, ails and lottie, voodoo, and especially MW to think about stopping, thats insane, I was just saying what I felt in my heart, and I think the nostalgia post SL put up afterwards has struck a chord with people, and made it a bit easier to understand what I could not explain in words.

  15. BTW guys its poxy when you leave, now everytime I wanna leave a comment i have word verification every bleedin time, pox I tell ya.

  16. So do I, what's that about? Have I left and not realised? Maybe I';m just not sighing in...