Tuesday, February 17, 2009

RAIN RAIN GO AWAY.....

So I've been living here Stateside for almost nine years now. I ended up coming here for a couple of reasons. Firstly, when I was living back at home I was voted 'The Massey Ferguson male model of the year, under 10', a highly acclaimed accolade and one I knew would come in handy in my later years. Moving on 20 years and still feeling I 'had it' so to speak I headed to the States, the land of hopes and dreams. I ended up here in LA and haven't looked back since. I have to say life is preeeety sweet. Ups and downs, you know. The upside is I still have my trophy, the downside, I haven't actually done any modeling since I was 10. Ah well, fuck it.
The second reason I left the homeland is the unbelievable amount of rain we get and by 'we' I mean you because I was smart and got the fuck out. I mean seriously how can anyone except Donald Duck and Fungi, the Dingle Dolphin, be expected to cope with rain, rain and more effen rain? So here I am in sunny, sunny LA, the land of no seasons. I love it.
There I was last weekend about to get up and do my daily ritual of giving the ol' trophy a rub, the one by the bed that is (dirty bastards!) You never know, I might be rediscovered. Up I get and head over to take a look at the beautiful day bestowed upon me.


Are you fuckin' joking me? I didn't move here for this. The best, of course, is when people here say to me 'I love the rain, I wish it would rain more often'. Get the f.. outta here. Move to Ireland, you donkeys. I love the sun and that's what LA is supposed to be, SUNNY.
I'm not expecting any sympathy but we've had 3 days of this. I mean it rained for 6 days last year!
What's a man supposed to do? My flip flops got soaked. I think that's it for this year.

6 comments:

  1. Ok first off - Feck right off you fecker.

    Second off, I am querying your post. You are man of many expletives.....Whats the story with this one? "I mean seriously how can anyone except Donald Duck and Fungi, the Dingle Dolphin, be expected to cope with rain, rain and more effen rain? So here I am in sunny, sunny LA, the land of no seasons. I love it." Its the only time I have seen you cover up a good fuck :D

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  2. no your right no sympathy from England either

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  3. and u have the nerve to post this to Ireland and England . what planet are u on

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  4. I notice some sensitivity and some might say hostility towards my good self.All I know is the sun's back so tuff shit!
    Mr. Idiot. I like to mix up my use of the aforementioned expletive.In this particular case I thought that "effen" fit the bill more appropriately.
    I'm not sure why talking like this so as not to re-offend go fuck yerselves! ;)

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  5. HI I'm chief ranter of the weather here, the only solace was the fact that the smug Europeans with their sun and snow had to come to dreary Ireland to get a job, although that's gone now. Anyway, I'd normally be eff-ing you for this but the humour makes me forget myself. I've always wanted to meet a Massey Fergusan male model, * bats eyelids*

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  6. 3 days..in a row !! My goodness, I hope your staying off the roads as it appears people in socal have no idea how to drive if the street is wet. My mother in San Diego swears that once a rain drop comes down ,everyone jumps in their cars and drives frantically to escape from the invasion of the tiny wet invaders ;o)

    Hopefully your storms have passed as we are now getting rain.

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