So I've been living here Stateside for almost nine years now. I ended up coming here for a couple of reasons. Firstly, when I was living back at home I was voted 'The Massey Ferguson male model of the year, under 10', a highly acclaimed accolade and one I knew would come in handy in my later years. Moving on 20 years and still feeling I 'had it' so to speak I headed to the States, the land of hopes and dreams. I ended up here in LA and haven't looked back since. I have to say life is preeeety sweet. Ups and downs, you know. The upside is I still have my trophy, the downside, I haven't actually done any modeling since I was 10. Ah well, fuck it.
The second reason I left the homeland is the unbelievable amount of rain we get and by 'we' I mean you because I was smart and got the fuck out. I mean seriously how can anyone except Donald Duck and Fungi, the Dingle Dolphin, be expected to cope with rain, rain and more effen rain? So here I am in sunny, sunny LA, the land of no seasons. I love it.
There I was last weekend about to get up and do my daily ritual of giving the ol' trophy a rub, the one by the bed that is (dirty bastards!) You never know, I might be rediscovered. Up I get and head over to take a look at the beautiful day bestowed upon me.
Are you fuckin' joking me? I didn't move here for this. The best, of course, is when people here say to me 'I love the rain, I wish it would rain more often'. Get the f.. outta here. Move to Ireland, you donkeys. I love the sun and that's what LA is supposed to be, SUNNY.
I'm not expecting any sympathy but we've had 3 days of this. I mean it rained for 6 days last year!
What's a man supposed to do? My flip flops got soaked. I think that's it for this year.