Monday, December 28, 2009

UK Government Wants YOU To Die…

when the zombie apocalypse hits.

Saturday my son bought the first Left 4 Dead game on the Xbox360. Yes I know there is a new one out. But my son hadn’t played the first one and wanted to play that first, before splashing out for the latest and greatest. Besides he got a good deal buying it “pre-owned” or as it truly should be called at the video game shop “second hand” or “used”. But those sharks like to use “pre-owned” as it sounds better and allows them to charge a little bit more for it.

As a good father I played the game with him for a couple of hours or so. My son is lucky he has a dad that is into video games as much as he is.

Anyway after playing it hit me. All these games, and movies are set in the US. Why? I’ll tell you why. That’s where they have easy access to guns and other weapons to defend themselves.

Ok yes 28 Days, and 28 Weeks were set in the UK, I’ll give you that. And in those movies how did any survivors defend themselves? They had to run away!! Shaun of the Dead (also set in the UK) also showed that you need a GUN.

It’s our restrictive laws on guns that will stop more of us in the UK surviving when the zombie apocalypse hits. While the Americans are blasting the heads off of every undead as if hunting season has come early. We here in the UK will be trying to out run the undead vermin hoping that the Armed Forces will be enough to save us.

We can’t even kit our troops out properly for planned conflicts. So the hopes that they will be able to handle the zombie horde is not something we should rely on.

Oh Brown and his cronies will be ok. But feck the rest of us, we will have to rely on being a bit more fitter than the undead. Oh and that zombies are no good at self defense as we try and attack them with potato peelers, bread knifes and cricket bats.

In fact knowing how our legal system works the first zombie I kill defending myself and my home will see me locked up and the key thrown away.

Brown and his crooked lot have diluted the law so much that the victim is the one that gets punished. I bet the zombies would get more help from the state as well than me. In fact I would bet good money that I don’t have that Brown already has announcements for helping the undead get jobs.

I want this to be an issue at the next election. I want it legal to have a gun. I want the law weighted back in favour of the living and defending your home from the living dead. I also want the law changed so that when you die you stay dead.

It’s not that much to ask for is it?

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