Monday, April 13, 2009

Ireland's new national disaster : vertical flooding

I've decided that we have a new elephant in the room and no, it's not the economy. Its what the government terms rain but if we had to be honest, and face up to it - we are in the process of being vertically flooded. It's not as dangerous as the horizontal kind - true - but it's fairly awful all the same. (apologies to horizontal flooding victims but I'm a victim too).

I've been sitting looking out at the back garden and the grass that has started growing but that I can't cut because it's so waterlogged. I know, I can dig draining ditches. But I can't for fear of getting trapped in the quicksand that the clay under the grass has become and getting trapped there and or drowning. I can't watch TV because every show is either set in the USA (during summer) or it's a show for Brits on where to holiday, or where to buy (somewhere sunny no doubt) or what they're doing while on holiday.

The weather in Ireland is making it hard for me to want to go on living here. The politics don't help. And seeing as we all could become unemployed soon, moving could be come imperative for some people. Which the government seems to think is a rather good idea (like wtf?)

Am I gone rain-mad if I believe the government should do more? What happened to those innovative missiles the Chinese at had at their disposal during the Olympics - no, not those ones they sold the Koreans, the other ones - the anti-rain ones. Yes, those...They didn't need them. But we do. Desperately.

Why can't we have a national government funded/created no-rain week? Let the country dry out for God's sake. So we can all have outdoor BBQ's and get drunk in the streets. Lets bring Ibiza home to Ireland in 2009. Why should we be selfish and keep all the water here for ourselves while they are experiencing sun-drenched-droughts and hose bans across the little pond in Britain. Don't even get me started on the heat-waves that the French and Germans are experiencing. People are dying just so we can have lush green fields. Let's share the love. If trees and vegetation encourage rain - which they are I'm told - then let's cut down these rain-magnet forests - in the name of a better balanced environment. Why can't houses automatically come with perspex-covered back gardens? Why bother building open air shopping streets ? In warm countries they have covered walkways at the airports to protect people from the one thing we don't have - why don't we protect our citizens from Vertical Flooding?

What can you do? Get onto YOUR local politicians and tell them that you're fed up of the rain - if they promise to buy missiles and more perspex from the Chinese/Koreans/Russians (look, anywhere we can bloody get them) - then WE will vote for them. :) Enjoy the rain.


  1. Yea I hate hearing about sunny places outside of Ireland and people complaining about the heat, and complaining about having too much snow in winter. Do you remember the Trocaire famine add from last year? So didn't work trying to make Irish people sympathetic towards people who have tons of something we never have.

  2. You will have appreciated those cider advertisements that that show Ireland in permenant sunshine with people perpertually drinking cider on warm summers evening.


  3. Funny. I couldn't give a poop about the weather.

    Give me rain over drought, or earthquakes, or tornados or other such disasters.

  4. I would be willing to take on one day of week of rain to help your vertical flood problem, maybe we can get others to do the same.