Sunday, June 20, 2010

Reality check

Sometimes reality had a way of smashing it's way through and breaking any illusions you may have.
Having to sign my divorce papers is just one of those times.
Any hopes I may of harboured of getting back together shattered with the few pen strokes that make up my signiture.
It hurts more now than it did when she left. Back then there was a glimmer of hope. Maybe she'll change her mind.
But the divorce papers have a way of say "no she hadn't".
Friends, family and even her say I should move on. But it's hard I don't want to, I still love her.
But that love died in her for me. What stings is that what we had wasn't worth trying to save. Strangely she can't tell me what she did to try and rekindle the feelings herself. She didn't try. And that cuts so deep.
There are stories and folk tales of dogs that waited for years at the spot where their owner died refusing to move, waiting for the owner to return. That's me really refusing to move on, hoping she will return realising she still loved me.
I can't just switch off that love. I married the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
So I'll be a tortured soul, and the world had better watch out as I vent my anger on the world in the form of humour and rants at the stuff that annoys me. So business as usual then...

-- Could be remote blogging or just too lazy to fire up laptop/Macbook/netbook. But still this has been posted from my iPhone 3G.

1 comment:

  1. In my own experience, love doesn't die, it's a positive energy & therefore does not die. Divorce is such an anticlimax & an experience I'd rather not repeat. I think when folk say they don't love you anymore, it is actually themselves they are not in place to love, except they probably don't realise it. I think my ex became indifferent, which is the opposite to love, however, I hope one day, he'll fall in love with who he is again.

    Keep loving her. It will help to heal you, in the long term. Though it is a painful experience, through pain, we grow to maturity as human beings. Love is the essence of everything.