Wednesday, June 20, 2007

OPBB (Old-People-Bashers Blog)

I've discovered that I have a problem. I have started to incite dislike, and even violence, it seems, in old people. Yesterday I posted a blog about an odd comment an old man directed at me on the bus the other day. I have yet another disturbing incident involving an O.P. to report. Just yesterday I was walking down Charing Cross Road with my friend Nena. We were laughing and joking and wearing brightly coloured A-line skirts, having just been to a swing dance lesson. Out of nowhere I felt something hit the hem of my skirt and catch me on the back of the knees. I turned around and standing there was an old man in a checked shirt and hat, and holding the offending article, a walking cane. Well, my first reaction was to burst out laughing, the incident was so bizarre. The O.P. grunted something but it was indiscernible and myself and Nena stumbled on past in fits of laughter. It was funny at the time but I'm starting to worry that this is the beginnings of a disturbing phenomenon. What sort of a world are we living in that a young person can't walk down the street for fear of being whacked by an old person with a walking stick!? On top of this I have just been reading Shanachie's blog entitled 'What is wrong with old people'. Well, 'A lot' it would seem is the answer to that one. I would like to forward the motion to have a blog specifically set aside for old-people-bashing, OPBB. It is socially frowned upon, I have found, to actually physically bash old people in real life so it seems that blogging is the perfect way to vent this frustration and therefore reduce the risk of actual violence being called into force in day to day dealings with geriatrics. Who's with me!?


  1. I'm not sure about this Fitz. I'm going to be one of them an awful lot sooner than you are. And I have seen you stagger down the street and it is a bit messy.

    Maybe send me your pamphlet and I'll peruse it.

  2. I'm in if there is gonna be real bashing!!!! I need to vent!

  3. Yay, I knew it would only be a matter of time that this blog would get a topic to dwell on. The Elderly.

    What scares me about this latest OPB (old person bash) is that you give the impression that he went to hit you, having not been there I can only guess at this, but could he have been actually attempting a quick peek if you know what I mean.

    People may think this is the dirty old fart in me thinking this but my wife, on reading the post thought the exact same.

    I love my Nana by the way, yes I am 35 and still call her nana, so not all old people are bad, it just seems the summer solstice may be fucking with their minds or something, at least thats what I am hoping.

    Lastly I do base my hidden Identity on an auld lad, but I am not evil.

  4. Yes Shanachie, that was what my friend who was there at the time suggested too but I disregarded that notion because it was far too disturbing a thought to dwell on.
    Someone Living, how old do you think I am!? Personally I'm gonna have to go with Pete Townshend on this one, 'hope I die before I get old'.

  5. Oh mentally! If Im physically 90 years old but have the mind of a 21 year old (or younger some might argue!) then I'll be 'happy' enough, and so will my cats who I will bring with me to gigs and the like as nobody else will want to be seen in public with a 90 year old wearing a mini skirt and purple leggings. I will be known in Whelans as 'the mad aul hag with the cats and the pee-bag'. Im looking forward to old age now!

  6. Oh i just got ya there, SL. Hmmm, I meant how old physically, I dont want to know how old you reckon me to be mentally, probably about your age (mentally), haha!