Friday, September 14, 2007

Dream a little dream of me

Shan asked a question ages ago that I suppose I avoided, but it's an answer that I think I can give now. He wanted to know if I felt strange because I didn't dream.

I dreamed, like everyone else, when I was a kid. Some of the nightmares were so vivid and disturbing that my parents took me to Whitefriar Street to have me exorcised(!), not the most stabilising experience to have in your formative years but this was pre-Celtic Tiger Ireland and a lot of strange shit went down, much of it connected to the church.

At some point over time they stopped. Disappeared. Almost completely. I had occasional ones alright, usually fragments after a heavy night of drinking, but other than that almost nothing. People did suggest that I was dreaming alright, just that I wasn't remembering them when I woke up. Possible, but still.

Other people woke up after nights of flying, historical fantasies, being in the cast of Grey's Anatomy or shagging Johnny Depp but not for me.

Then a couple of months ago, after going through a particularly traumatic event they started again, full blast. Don't know why, but I'm sure the amateur psychologists among you will have a field day trying to explain it. They've kind of settled down now from a few every night to a few nights a week but still it's an incredibly strange thing to go from accepting that you never have them to suddenly having them reappear for no real apparent reason.

I know it's connected to what happened and, I suppose, that's what bothers me the most. That it took something like that to jolt my system back into operation after all these years. I'm scared. Scared of what shape my psyche is in that this has happened and scared of what might happen next.

My dreams are back, for the moment at least.

Still no rude ones though :(


  1. You have me curious and worried about you. I hope your alright.

    Love the Bobby Ewing clip. The second most famous shower moment in history, Psycho and Dallas.

  2. Btw, I dream all the time, I hallucinate all the time too. I've mentioned this before. One time I woke up in the middle of a REM cycle. My eyes were moving back and forth in a 8 part circular fashion, by themselves. Tried to find net explanation at the time but none was found.

  3. It does all sound a little bit scary but my instinct would be to think that the fact you're experiencing dreams againis positive. I think a lot of people doen't remember their dreams as a self protective measure. Perhaos nightmares a re a healthy way of processing or releasing anxiety, buthen a different part of the brain thinks, tut tut, you don't need to remember that now it's out of your system, it'll only upset you.

    I've had this theory for a long time, and can't rememebr if it's official or if I made it up. Still, it's a good one either way!

    It makes sense that it takes a traumatic experience to shake things around or resettle them. But perhaps talking to Someone Professional would be a good support?

    As for the rude ones.. perhaps you need to find some suggsetive bedtiem reading...

  4. Hey dude. I never used to get bad nightmares as a kid. Then a few years ago I started doing pills at the weekend. (And 5-htp during the week to rebuild the saratonin levels!).

    Almost everytime after doing them I'd get the most awful nightmares. Usually on a Sunday/Monday after dropping on a Sat night.

    They were all hyper realistic, in normal domestic settings and they all revolved around death. My death, death of a loved one. And incredibly vivid; on one occasion I could see myself dying in my parents kitchen as they rushed to help me.

    I hadn't done any stuff in a long time until last weekend and guess what? Return of the nightmares. My mother smothering me to death with a pillow as it turns out.


    Anyway - to the point. Are you on any medications? Or started taking any new ones recently?

    (no, not the yokes. Proper medication). Could they be the cause?

  5. Hope I'm ok too Milan. I do think it's positive Jo, just worrying that you can unknowingly affect your psyche like this in such a serious way. You're not the first person to suggest talking to a professional.

    As for the meds GB only the ones I've been on all these years, no change there, and you know my opinion on the yokes, not my scene :) No, it was definitely what happened that shook them loose again.

    Yours sound rough. I think I'd rather have none than the ones you describe.