Monday, September 03, 2007

Three's company!

I have three kids, I had my first little surprise when I was 24, my second was deliberate aged 30 and the third (another surprise) arrived into the world on my 34th birthday. Now you guys know me well enough and won't judge me when I say two of my little guys surprises, and not totally pleasant surprises! Now that doesn't mean I don't love and adore them, nor does it mean I'm not glad I've had them, any of them. It just means I'm being honest about it. Now I wouldn't say anything to my little ones to upset them or make them feel unwanted in anyway, (but surely actions speak louder etc?), but I want to be honest about my family.

A few of the women up at my daughters Montessori are after having or are expecting there third children and they all look to me for woman who couldn't plan her birth control properly! These women are in totally different situations from mine, mostly they are in their late thirties, early forties, they have established careers, a certain amount of financial security and a husband who can afford to keep her in the manner she's become accustomed to until she goes back to work ( one very nice woman is having 3 kids in five years, as she is taking a 7 year career organised is that?) So most of the kids in my daughters class are eldest children, at 3 or 4 , and with a nine and a half year old son, even though I'm younger than most of them I'm an old pro.

I'm often asked how I manage it, all the running around and juggling....truth is I don't do half as much as I should do, I don't do the gymnastic or swimming or drama classes for 3 year olds, they do these with their kids, my son has an active social life and that requires a lot of running around (but I have a wonderful friend who helps me out a lot with him) The poor baby just falls in to the routine, adapting to whatever the day brings (now being bounced on my knee as I post this). I don't have much time for much else, husband, friends or social life, I try, making time when I can, babysitting when we can afford it! The house is a total disaster area most of the time, but I just grin and bear it! As for food, I cook a dinner daily (no ready meals in my house) but I do like the odd marks and spencer chicken Kiev or if things are really rough a domino's pizza!

As much as I'd like the yummy mummy lifestyle of organic food and tribal comedy and drum classes on a Tuesday evening it just isn't happening! A friend of mine (who isn't a breeder) loves the story about third (and subsequent kids), on your first kid it's organic porridge with soy milk for breakfast everyday, with your second it's cornflakes during the week and coco pops at the weekends but on your third it's whatever the hell you can get them to eat, bloody coco pops with chocolate milk if that's what gives you an easier life....and it's true. When my first guy was born I was playing the role of perfect mother (probably cos I thought if I didn't people would cop that it wasn't planned, on the second I eased up a lot and now....well now if we all make it to the end of the day with everyone intact I'm happy....seriously! I should try harder, but I know from experience that doing more produces great kids but a seriously stressed mummy, and I don't think I can take another ten years like the last ten.

This will be the last time I see my baby roll over, walk or talk for the first time, his will be my last, first day of school, so I'm enjoying them more, relaxing a bit, these will be the last sleepless nights etc.

So I have to get my tubes tied attempts at birth control haven't worked well until now have they?


  1. If anyone's tying tubes I'm afraid it's a husband's job, not yours. Seriously different operations!

    My first child was also a 'surprise' - an immaculate conception, pretty much. I would have had more fun if I'd realised at the time... and my second child was planned. But that's after ten years of condomn use with three and a half safe years in between... I think I'll carry on with my mix of abstinence and durex :)

    Having said that, I'm definitely happy with my gentlemen's family and really do not want to be surprised again...

  2. I love this account MW! It's brilliant, so honest and definitely real! You write great accounts of normal, family life, though you appear to be anything but "normal"!!! :-)
    I mean that in the nicest possible sense!

  3. Jo, you are a natural mother though, And I know from talking to you that you were broody when younger. Funny thing about me is I was never broody, when I got married we intended not to have children, travel etc! Just goes to show, you get given your cards in life and then you just deal!
    As for the debate as to who gets "neutered", I definately don't want anymore babes, but my husband might.

    Ash, I am normal....well in this little universe I am anyway! Today was a rotten day, as you can probably tell form the post, now the two younger ones are asleep and the older one is out I'm happier now! I just don't want to lie about my family life, I mean we all lie to ourselves when we have kids, "sure it'll be fine, MY kids will never do that"...rubbush! I love them, they are my life, but as you understand with anything you invest so much of yourself in it can be amazingly rewarding but generally it's frustrating!

  4. The breakfast story for those non-breeders amongst us? Completely true.