I spent from half one this morning until four this evening vomiting! During the night I thought it was just something I'd eaten and that by the morning it would have passed (yuck) I do tend to get sick if I eat too much or too rich food! It's the first time I've been seriously ill since my ex left. So it was my first real experience of being ill and alone. Now I knew my neighbour and friends would bring kids to school, Montessori, but I also knew I couldn't mind the baby alone while I was unable to keep even water down. So I made the decision to keep my son and daughter home with me. My nearly ten year old son showed what an amazing child he is today. He gave the baby his bottles, fed him his solid food, amused him, also prepared breakfast and lunch for his four year old sister. The only thing in fact he didn't do was change nappies. I was so proud of him, well at the time I wasn't, I couldn't lift my head off the pillow but afterwards I was so proud of him, and his little sis who managed not to destroy the place or cause too many rows. My dad took a half day and came over at about four with a big pot of beef stew for the kids, and I had some of the broth later on, when I was keeping water down again. So we survived another first. I am lonely now though, I have that cold shivery thing going on, I really need a hug, actually I really need to snuggle up to someone, do you know what I mean?
But the point of this post was that as I fought with the vomiting bug (do you like the picture, looks so colourful and pretty huh?) I had a falling asleep with my head in the toilet moment. At about three or so I suppose I was getting sick head over toilet bowl, sweat pouring off me, chorizo rice floating in the bowl....and I fell asleep, I woke God only know how much later, to puke again.
So this evening when I was feeling well enough to clean the toilet I was thinking how times have changed. There was a time when falling asleep with my head in the toilet meant a mad night, beer or wine or spirits....actually if my head was in the toilet bowl it probably meant a combination of all three...and curry chips! Now it's not going to be alcohol induced, it'll be a bug picked up from one of the kids or a couple slices of pizza too many that sit uncomfortably in my tummy until they reappear, or the three times I was pregnant and vomited for Ireland (not as bad as Polka...poor, poor Polka). So vomiting used to be a kind of indicator of a good night now it's an indicator of how old and decrepit I am!
So to cheer myself up here are a few memories of when puke wasn't a four letter word....some of these stories are about me, some not....not telling which is which!
Firstly, a bottle of Count Valdivar vodka (ie neat alcohol that was only good for cleaning out drains) my first bedsit and a pasta bake, my duvet was burnt by many cigarettes, and someone vomited on top of the dishes in the sink....why? Well, because someone else had collapsed in the bathroom and couldn't be woken, I think they lay there all night. The next day the hangover was cured with crisps and coke!
Secondly, a couple of bottles of red wine, some cheap french food, the occasion an anniversary party, The location sitting on a habitat cream coloured couch in a fashionable city centre apartment in the nineties. The action of puking? collapse out of no where to one side, slumping down onto the sofa while vomiting red wine vomit all over it's cream coloured linen loveliness! Resulted in puker being evicted from the party!
Thirdly and lastly, about a keg of Bulmers, the location a bar in Rathmines, food, about fifteen packets of dry roasted peanuts,oh and a cigar, the puker was there to be set up with someone, it was all going well until the puker decided to take a long visit to the toilet, after half an hour a search party found the puker on the loo, passed out with Bulmers, dry roasted peanut puke in their pants. What did our puker do? Pulled up the pants and was then thrown out into the night in Rathmines, waking the next morning and wondering why the room smelt of peanut butter and had they caught genital warts...."Jesus, they aren't warts, they are peanuts!"
Oh how we laughed....I hope you weren't eating when you read the post! I'm actually starving! Maybe time to try some solid food! Peanut butter sandwich perhaps?