So I decided to leave the blog there a few wee weeks ago and now I am back, lured back by the promise of cheap enamel badges. Yes as Ash says I am a blogging tart (I prefer the word slag myself). But of course that's not the only reason I came back, I miss the community and interaction of this blog, I know people have kinda struggled, some people have fallen by the wayside, others have just left and others still have felt like the changes in my life that caused me to leave the blog forced them to leave. So in a way I suppose me coming back to the fold is I hope gonna help shake things up here. Some of the people who used to post here felt like they had to stop and I just want to say that it's a shame to let personal feelings or things that have happened ruin a really good community blog!So what's been happening? I've applied to go to university in October, I've put on a pound over Christmas and I've started to process of attempting to get my tubes tied! Other than that I've been ok, up and down, I won't lie Christmas was extremely difficult and I am delighted it's over! I hope I'll have something to post about other than how evil Holles street are for making a fuss of a 34 year old adult deciding she wants no more babies, but for now that's what's pissing me off!
Ok, will post again soon! But if anyone of our lapsed bloggers is reading this I'd consider posting again, this is something special, and it's the variety of special people who make it so!
Another Holles Street victim, like my wife she did not want to breastfeed, and that was her decision, and people should respect that. Holles Street all through the labour etc were excellent but when shan jr appearded the midwives promptly put baby on breast even though Mrs Shan has said no on numerous occasions.
ReplyDeleteThat pissed her off and tbh pissed me of aswell, a bit of respect.
I know! Some of them are fab, but the breastfeeding thing is a real problem! The Coombe is not like that at all!
ReplyDeleteHow on earth is breastfeeding a problem?! I really don't think we should open this can of worms.
ReplyDeleteMy Mrs did not want to do it, she had her reasons and they got pushy, thats all.
ReplyDeleteEveryone should at least TRY to breastfeed. Why on Earth wouldn't you other than pure and utter selfishness? They need to support breastfeeding because in Ireland there is a serious lack of support for it and serious lack of knowledge about how detrimental formula can be to a developing baby and how many benefits there are to feeding your baby naturally. I think people need to be pushed a little bit. It's like a man having a heart attack and then being offended that the doctor tells him to stop drinking beers and eating chips and kebabs.
ReplyDeleteOk, Candi, Will I totally support breastfeeding as the best way to feed our babies (I have 3, and the longest I ever breastfed was a few weeks) But a woman has to make her own decision, and as a bottle feeder I am tired of the breast feeders taking the moral high ground, I have no problem admitting that breast feeding is the ideal, but if I had no choice but to breastfeed I would have lost my mind, simple as that. And I have been made to feel like a crap mother because of my decision. And I'm a bloody excellent mother, I've been doing it for nearly ten years now and my children are confident and happy, with fine immune systems. I am going to college in October, hopefully to study to be a midwife, and I will totally support breastfeeding, but more importantly is the mothers desire and her own happiness. If a mother wants to breastfeed fantastic there should be laction experts (not necessarily midwifes, as they might not have had kids never minded breastfed) but they haven't got time in hospital. But if they don't want to breast feed they should be supported. People say but in Africa they just breastfeed, yes, but we don't live there, and we have choices. ok so you disagree with me and Mr Shan but come on, we are all mothers lets just get on with it, this is why women don't rule the world, we let ourselves be divided!
ReplyDeleteI had two of my children totally naturally, no pain relief (I only had it on my first cos my midwife was crap) I have heard of women who have sections feel like they aren't good mothers, why can't we all just get along? We all have our childrens best interests at heart.....while you think me feeding by boob would be best for baby I know I would have lost my mind, which is better for baby, a happy mummy or a psycho mummy?
Candi I am incredibly offended at your suggestion that I am selfish, or that mrs Shan is, how dare you judge other people? Judge other mothers?
ReplyDeleteMW - fair play getting your act together and finding new adventures and upturns. Well may it continue.
ReplyDeleteRe BF - I'd rather kill myself than breast feed a child. I can think of no greater hell. It's bad enough having to be anywhere in the vicinity of the now public phenomenon. I'm adept at blanking my vision and focusing on blocking the thought of it from my memory. In the world of the hardcore Squeemish like me, breast related matters are numero uno.
God Midge I now understand why this went back to draft yesterday, holy fuck I did not realise I was opening up such a pot of shit.
ReplyDeleteCandi - My wife also knows that Breastfeeding is the best thing to do but she did not want to and thats her choice. I could not make her change her mind so there no point in a midwife attempting to do so. If anything it put her off ever doing it again, how is that helping get more people to breastfeed.
In relation to selfishness its comments like that from nurses that helped put her off and it has nothing to do with selfishness she did not want to go to go through the pain of breastfeeding, what if, like me as a baby, my child had no interest in it, that can really affect the mother mentally, she also did not like the idea of having to get her boobs out for one and all if the child was hungry and she had not expressed, and the least selfish thing of all is that she wanted to give me more of an opportunity to feed my child during the day and night to bond with her.
She met a lot of women while pregnant who were also expecting and a good few of them feel that the pushy attitude does not help and felt the exact same way as my wife.
Shan I had to put it in draft...needed to calm the fuck down! I find the divisions between mothers on this issue and also the working mother versus stay at home mother issue....why do we always have to be right! Women huh?
ReplyDeleteI know I still dont understand you guys, and obviously I aint alone since I am the only male commenter on this post, the others are afraid now of the mad women.
ReplyDeleteNot at all Shan. Just thinking.
ReplyDeleteI should set out my history first. I'm the father of some pretty smart, healthy and high achieving kids who were all bottle fed, my wife's choice after trying breastfeeding and deciding it wasn't for her.
There's no way I can let your "lack of support for breastfeeding" comment pass either Candi. The times I was in Holles Street over the years it was the only option discussed and there was always support from nurses there and when we got home whenever we needed it. Actually more than once my wife was made feel like a failure as a parent at an incredibly tough time for giving up and choosing the bottle instead.
I was pretty glad she did actually, as Shan was, as this allowed me to take a lot of the brunt when it came to feeds including all the middle of the night ones.
I understand this is an emotive issue but can't understand for the life of me how either side see the legitimacy of forcing their way as the only one on other, free thinking adults.
The information is there, some choose to, some choose not to and thankfully, as we live in a free society, people can make their own choice and neither should be made to feel guilty because of the decision they've made.
oh my god. are we not entitled to our own opinions now.on shanachie i spent the nine months determined to breastfeed and could nt it took five days and a nice kind nurse to give me a bottle for my child the preasure i felt was awful and if i say so myself shan has turned out to be a healthy motivated and happy man as did my other three children so please allow people to choose whatever suits them
ReplyDeleteHere's a story. A friend and his wife had their third child. They (she) had decided not to breast feed. Two wee ones at home meant that without full time care to look after them breastfeeding was impossible. (It is trust me). After the birth (long labour) she was exhausted. First night no sleep worn to a frazzle. My friend comes in the next day, see's how his wife is and gets a baby seat and takes the baby out of the hospital leaving his wife to rest and recover while he looked after the baby. As he was leaving the hospital the staff said 'where are you going.' He said 'as the father I am taking my child home for the night'. They were left spluttering behind him. It was good for mama, good for papa and good for baba as well. Not possible without bottles though. Breast is best and as soon as we have all the community and government and family supports in place to make it happen it might increase. Until then for the mental and physical health of mothers and babies people will continue to use bottles and rightly so.
ReplyDeleteAh the fickle morality of society. 20-30 years ago society's attitude, nurses and hospitals and the very strong public opinion would have all been all for bottles instead of the B word. I can't take anything like this serious having witnessed fundamental morals change so often.
ReplyDeleteI am delighted there has been so much debate over this, and for all the man who commented thanks! It's nice to hear a man's point of view.
ReplyDeleteMilan there were some very strange ideas 20-30 years ago and that's why breastfeeding here isn't as popular as it is on th continent. They thought formula was the answer to all our prayers back then, now they aren't even allowed to advertise formaula for babies under six months old!