Wednesday, February 20, 2008

The king is dead, long live the...

Welcome, fellow Lima Bean Pickers, to a glorious day in the history of 4nine£. One has, after much thought, decided that our little enterprise needs to be taken to the next level. To that end, one hereby declares us an independent state.

To this end, one, as your monarch and supreme serene and lifelong ruler, appoints each of you to a cabinet position in this new world order.

If you are unsatisfied with your new position then tough. After all, there is no "i" in benevolent dictatorship. Well OK, there's 2. But you get the idea.

Step forward:

Mossienolonger - Poet Laureate

Mr Pink - Minister for Alternate Lifestyles/Home Improvement/Sci-Fi (it's a broad portfolio)

Midget Wrangler - Minister for Sexual Innuendo

Jothemama - Minister of Food & Parties (preferably at the same time)

aquaasho - Minister for Health

Voodoolady - Royal Ambassador to the Southern Hemisphere

Idiot - Fictionaliser of the King's History

Atreus - Defender of the Royal Firewall

plasmonic - Minister for Science (with special responsibility for building the UFO to Blisstonia)

Tiberius Gracchus - Court Jester

Conformist No. 2 - Prime Minister

Milan Adenauer - Royal Consort/Eye Candy

PolkaDot - Minister for Media (starfucking sub division)

goldenbeers - Keeper of the Pop Culture Archives

Shanachie - Royal Photographer

dolly - Royal Ambassador to the European Mainland

That is all.


  1. I'm so honoured with the health portfolio your lordship, I do hope it's not a refelection of any similarity to mary harney. Otherwise I'd be angry....and you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

  2. Stylish.

    I will accept the role!

    Breastmilk daquiris for you all!

  3. P.S. Totally ignoring the bid for Monarchy btw

  4. P.P.S. Should we not be executing Milan for attempting an uprising?

  5. Why the hell am I so far down the list, is photography not important enough for you, Milan would treat me better.

  6. Royal Ambassador for the Southern Hemisphere, I can do that. No kissing babies though, or the elderly. My lips are my own.

  7. Royal consort eh? Well there's plenty of flirting in that and if this is an ancient Greek style consort I'll have a lot of power too, and power = good. But I kind of prefer being dictator in waiting.

    C#2 = I offered myself up for public hanging/shooting a few months back but it wasn't taken up.

  8. Join the Milan revolution Shan....don't tell anyone I told you though.

  9. Ash - Such a thing could not be further from my mind. You are, of course, the fittest among us and a shining light of example to us all. And it's your Royal Highness.

    Jo - Yum ;)

    Shan - The list was written in the order your names appeared in the right hand sidebar last night. Who else should document my glory but you?

    VL - Your lips are, of course, your own. Except when requisitioned by the royal personage when I grow weary of MA. That goes for all the ladies. And some of the boys too.

    Tib - Stop being so funny then.

    RP - You have only to rejoin us and a title awaits you.

    Long Live Me!

  10. There's more to me than dirty jokes that was my point...

    There is more to be than dirty jokes isn't there?

  11. RP, you can't come back begging like that, now trot off back to your stable.

  12. Keeper of the Pop Culture Archives? Kiss me arse the lot of ye. Pop culture shouldn't have archives! Would Radio Luxembourg have had the same magic attached to it if they had broadcast in 5:1 surround sound? I think not!

  13. First announcement as your Royal Ambassador to the European Mainland:
    Greetings peasants! Take a bow, wipe your feet and place your gifts on the dedicated table.

    And on behalf of the Mainland I'd now like to thank you all for your fantastic work. Rest assured we, being but a small part of the Great Kingdom, are greatful and aware of the fact that we would not survive a day without your kind hearts and fine services.