Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Bedtime Stories

I have been asked to babysit. And by someone who actually knows how crap I am with kids. Now I am more than willing to help a friend in need and I have no issue with the request. Other than what the hell do I do with a 4 and an 8 year old for an entire evening?

I was thinking of bringing them to the cinema. But maybe Dark Knight is not the best choice given the magic tricks in the movie. I can just imagine them trying to re-enact the pencil trick.

Then I thought - kids like fancy fun drinks. Cocktails? This it would seem is frowned upon. Boring!

Maybe we could play dress up. The only dressing up clothes I have are in anticipation of next weekends Burlesque show. And these are two young boys. Another bad idea.

Neither boys are allowed fizzy drinks or sweets so I am asked to restrain from bringing any. Now I recall my teens when I spent many an evening in some neighbours house raiding the cabinets and feeding the kids drugs junk food to make them shut up whining appease them.

I am informed that their bed time is normally 8pm but I can allow them up until 8.30 "if they are good". What does she mean, "if they are good"? Why wouldn't they be good? What sort of little hellians is she raising?

The little one has trouble sleeping and sometimes can wet the bed. (Note to self - bring cling film to wrap him in before bed). My friends informs me he likes a short bedtime story before bed and this usually puts him at ease.

This is really starting to sound like a lot of work. I hate the sound of my voice. If I read aloud, I may nod off before the kid does. So you-tube to the rescue. Thanks Chris.


  1. Eh, Lottie, I thought you said you did au pairing for many years - !

  2. I did. Also many years ago.

    It;s okay. I have figured it out. I am going to buy them some cigarettes and porn. I am told by a male friend that you are never too young for porn.

  3. If the porn doesn't work try them with some picture books (not too babyish for the 8 year old though - maybe something like Neil Gaiman's The Day I swapped my Dad for a goldfish? It comes with a CD of Gaiman reading it...)

  4. Thank you David :). Maybe I'll try that tact first.

  5. Ah no - don't do that.... Try the porn first. Books are just a close second :)

  6. When you say that you're babysitting...do I have to be there?

  7. I could lend you some great books...."Don't let the pidgeon stay up late! The pidgeon finds a hotdog! Germs!" I have loads feel free to borrow some if you like. I also suggest getting a couple of drawing pads, few twistables, bit of calm drawing.....nice or a couple of packs of old fashioned plasticene!

  8. I find the threat of being thrown out the window if they don't go to sleep does wonders :)

  9. @ Darren - always stepping up to support me. Thanks!

    @SL - finally a mature and considered suggestion. Thank you!

  10. I'm v.lazy with babysitting, I find a dvd or two usually shuts them up for a few hours.