Monday, July 21, 2008

When I Get Older, Losing My Hair...How Many Years From Now?

Is 27 too young to be thinking I'm old? Is 27 too old to be trying so hard to be young?

I turn 27 in two weeks time and I don't feel old (kinda!) – I have a lot of fun and I try to be active and contributory to the world (to varying degrees). But when one of my best friends is 20 years old (and constantly reminds me of the fact), it is hard to feel youthful and vibrant.

But the other side of the coin is that I am no longer a teen either – I have a mortgage, a career, a long term girlfriend. I have a cat, for crying out loud. I didn't have an excessive youth but I really shouldn't be making up for lost time now! Or should I?

As I attempt to balance a working life, a home life and a social life, I worry I am spreading myself too thinly in some areas. I know I could be spending more time at home and I'm very much aware of how lucky I am to have a girlfriend as amazing as Lottie, who is a huge part of every facet of my life. I could probably be putting more effort into work – I seem to be going through the motions a bit lately. I will shortly be back in college too for a new term and I'll need to dedicate some time to that. Time that I don't really want to subtract from my social life.

So, as I turn 27, I wonder if I need to set out a new list of priorities and goals. I am a big fan of New Years and I usually spend a bit of time around Christmas defining my resolutions and aims for the forthcoming year. I'm not sure I can wait until Christmas to do it this year. My life has taken so many new directions lately and with new directions, new focus should follow, but I seem to lack any focus whatsoever at them moment.

In the last year (most notably in the last three months) I have been socialising more and I have been meeting new people, having new experiences (last week's Oxegen was my first festival) and my life has exploded in a number of new directions. Only two years ago it was far more common for me to come home of an evening, settle into the couch, snuggle up to Lottie with a glass of wine and a DVD.

I'm not old, I know that. 27 is still young and I shouldn't feel guilty for having fun. But, to some degree, I do. I feel guilty that I'm abandoning the old me, the Darren that reads constantly (I currently have a sizeable list of unread books), the Darren who enjoys sitting at home with Lottie most evenings, the Darren who is a dedicated (probably overly dedicated) employee, the Darren who is eager to further his career. Indeed, lately I find myself questioning what I want to do, what I want to be.

Anyway, this is just a pointless ramble. I'm a far cry from balding, I don't yet have a ubiquitous beer belly, I'm not greying and I don't say things like “back in my day we didn't have such and such to do that for us, we did it”. Does everyone question their lives, their mortality around their birthdays......or is it just me?


  1. Can't say what you should do but I'd go for the things that makes you happier. But I can promise you you can count on many days sitting at work or getting tipsy on your couch. I'd go for having as much fun as possible. Every day.

    If you ever have kids things will change. Good and bad. But it will limit your spare time. You'll even be proud if you manage to read a *whole* book and remember what it was all about by the end of it.

    You're 26. Approximately 40 more years of work. You could have multiple careers! Don't hesitate to go for what's fun.

  2. At just 26 I had my first mortgage, I was pregnant, I'd just got married, and my mother had just died. I think it would have been a lot healthier for me to be following my instincts, and spending more time meeting people!

    Balance is good, but from the persective of an encumbered THIRTY TWO year old, your life sounds fairly fabulous :)

    I think organised dates with Lottie might be a good idea, rather than feeling like you have to chain yourself to the sofa.

    Though that could be a date in itself...

    Set aims and goals, and work towads them in preparation for thirty - never mind 27, it;s hte big 3-0 you want to be gettign your ducks in a row for!

  3. Getting old at 27? What? I have a daughter older than that! You are only just out of nappies and have about thirty years to go before the really good times start.

    Just make sure you have a good pension system in place.

    And who the hell told you you could use my photo?

  4. Two points:
    1. "enjoys sitting at home with Lottie most evenings" - do you not enjoy that now? hmph!

    "I didn't have an excessive youth"- was the tequilla that strong or have you simply forgotten?

  5. @Lottie NO! You're a moany git these days.

    I maybe did have a few too many tequilas with a vodka mixer. Hmm!

  6. Where do I begin??!?!?! I agree with Dolly, there will come a time when you have a kid and you'll have time to do almost none of those things so don't worry about spreading yourself too thin just yet, apart from in your relationship, that should always have priority. And blogging, obviously.

    Everyone has a crisis/mortality year. Wait til you turn 33 ;)

  7. This is also Post 1400. No-one notices these days. Not like in the olden times blah blah blahhhhhhhhh.

  8. 1400? Seriously? Wow! My own blog will hit 200 this week, so I'm a way off 1400 yet.

    @Dolly I'll be happy to hold off on the kids for a good while more. I am wondering what career I could take up next. I'd love to be doing something more creative with my time.

    @Jo Don't get me wrong, my life is fabulous. I love every second of it. The post is not meant to be too serious - I've just been pondering a lot these last few days. Truthfully I'm very happy with my lot and I count my blessings (or some other non-religious way of saying that) everyday.

    @Grandad At least I used one of the nicer photos of you. I could have used this one from your more promiscuous days.

    @SL 33? That's decades away. I dread to think what it's like at 33!!!

  9. FFS! I was listing some jobs I could think of that you should go for but I cracked myself up so bad I just couldn't do it. Best laugh of the day!

    I bet Shan will be the perfect coach here for you.

  10. I was just thinking, I did used to get philospohical around birthdays - now I think, 'those bastard 27 year olds...'

  11. For fucks sake cop on you are under 30 still a nipper, you have not lived yet, like you I had my mortgage in my twenties was with the mrs then aswell, the one thing I will say about kids is yes its tiring but fuck me its so much fun I feel ten years younger which makes me 26 are you jealous now!!!! Anyhow bet your pubes aint going grey thats the real killer.