Jade Goody

Forgive me I am no writer, it sounds right in my head and then doesn't quite work wrote down.

I awoke this morning with the news that Jade Goody has now been told that the doctors are no longer trying to cure her but after discovering that she is basically riddled with cancer they are now just going to pro long her life as much as they can, 

I know a lot of people will say who give's a shit about Jade Goody that foul mouthed racist idiot, well I do and here is why.

Let me take you to October 2008, My mother awoke as normal went downstairs made a coffee and breakfast and sat down as was her and everyone else's normal routine, on starting her breakfast she discovered that she couldn't hold her spoon properly, that's odd she thought shouted my step father who came to inspect , on seeing mom said I think you had better go to the doctors.

Mom drove herself to the doctors with my  step dad tagging along, she arrived in the doctors stood at the counter and said to the receptionist Ooh I feel a little faint, she promptly dropped to the floor and had a massive seizure, cue an ambulance being called and mom being rushed into Hospital.

On arriving at hospital they thought that mom had had a stroke, calmed her down and sent her off for scans, by this point she had lost the use of her left hand but speech remained normal.

On getting back from  the scans  my brother called me to say are you sitting down, they have discovered that mom has a brain tumour.

I got on a train and went the 200 miles up to mom to find her reasonably cheery, they had told her that she would have an operation and that they were confident that they could remove it.

I left two days later knowing that things were bad but  thinking that she would have an operation and things would be ok.

Two days later she had the operation, she came around to the news that they had indeed removed the tumour and that things were on the up.

A week or so later she was allowed out of hospital to go home, she was that well, she was very happy as all she had wanted was to get home, the family were happy it was great to have her home, things could return to normal right?

another week passed and she was not feeling great, tired all the time and weaker than she had ever felt, but still refusing for me to go and look after her, telling me not to do it because of my two children that she felt needed me more.

This went on for a few days until one night she got up in the night needing the bathroom she for whatever reason turned wrong on the stairs and fell from top to bottom landing on her arm and banging her head , she was rushed back into hospital, with at this point some confusion- we thought from banging her head.

The hospital decided to re scan again in case of her having any post operative bleeding and of course because she had just taken a nasty tumble.

We were then met with the news that in a matter of days she had three more tumours on her brain, there was nothing more they could do.

And this is when the world as we knew it started falling apart.

That night i took a call from my brother telling me that she was deteriorating fast and that i needed to get there as soon as I could, I caught the train the next morning and went straight to the hospital I arrived at the hospital to find my beautiful mother lying in a foetal position, still speaking a little but unable to stay awake for longer than a couple of minutes.

My brother and I were told we would lose mom that night.....

My brother and i stayed in the hospital all night with her, holding her hand, giving her drinks , cleaning her when the nurses were too busy and crying, and she looked at me and said "I love you my darling", and the worst "Im frightened"  I rubbed her forehead like she had done so many times for  me over the years.

She didn't die that night but instead two days later , I had to go back home to the children mom was moved to a hospice.

I spoke to her on the phone everyday at the hospice and went to see her on the Saturday, she had stopped speaking overnight and I arrived to the most awful sight of my mother who had wasted away in less than a week and was now just staring into space, I sat and held her hand she didn't know I was there.

I left the hospice that day at 3.45 p.m. she died exactly 24 hours later 

My mom was 58 years young.

So who gives a shit about Jade Goody... I do