Thursday, March 19, 2009

The Male Psyche

There's a particular element of the male psyche I've been trying to come to grips with this long time and it came back into my head 2 days ago (cue idea for a first post).

I've come across this loads over the years and it's where a man effectively hides that he has a partner. It may not even be a conscious thing. It may just be part of the whole compartmentalisation thing (i.e. keeping all aspects of life separate). Or it may be keeping options open. I don't know. This is the question I have for the men.

To clarify I give you two scenarios:

Scenario 1
I got to know a male friend a few years ago, would meet him regularly, I knew he was seeing someone but the first time he mentioned her was when they got engaged a few years later. And when something's not mentioned it becomes kind of a taboo so I never said anything back. Now there wasn't any big sparks going on or anything that would warrant him hiding the mrs so I never understood it.

Scenario 2
Two friends of mine, male and female. We had suspicions that he was doing a line but again he said nothing. Then one day someone asked him out straight in front of all did he have a girlfriend and he went purple and admitted he did. He never mentioned her again and then one day we're all in the pub and this random woman comes over to the table. We think she's selling charity raffle tickets and it turns out it's the mrs. Awkward embarrassment ensued as we're trying to pretend that we knew all about her. Himself goes purple again.

I could give you 20 other examples.

So what's it all about?


  1. We are attempting to confuse women the same way as you guys do it to us, hehe.

    To be honest I have never encountered this problem myself but maybe its the male thing of, well if women think I am single I may be able to pull for a one nights stand! Seriously though I really dont know.

    BTW welcome to the fold it is loverly to have you on board!

  2. Not a male thing only. Seen the same thing with several women.
    Guessing some of them want a life on their own. Some of them are on the look out for something else/better/different (long or short term).
    Some probably don't realise they don't mention the partner.
    Some are not comfortable as the partner wouldn't mix well with the group.
    Some are reluctant to tell as it would give away more information on what they're like than what they're ready to give out.

    Why don't you ask them?

  3. well personally I always take my wedding ring off when I am out on the pull : )

  4. Thanks Shanachie.

    Mummy bird - lol.

    Dolly, some good suggestions there. I'd be far too chicken to ask the people I referred to, maybe it is because they're a bit guarded.