Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Children of the Revolution

join me in the counter revolution I am planning. What will we be revolting against? I’ve not got that far in the planning. But whatever it is it’ll be big. The odds will be against us, with plenty of opportunities for pointless suicide missions that prove the futility of the struggle.

I think the recruitment videos for this counter revolution should be shot by a scandinavian director. They seem to have a thing for shooting their films in black and white, and getting over to the audience a bleakness that just makes you want to slit your wrists.

So where will the headquarters of this counter revolution be? I’ve given this a lot of thought and it can be only one place really. That place is the North Pole and Santa's Grotto. It’s perfect. Let’s face it any revolution worth it’s salt needs the capability to manufacture weapons, make uniforms etc. Over the last two or three years it has become politically incorrect to exploit children and the poor of this world. Luckily the world does not share this view of the elves working for Santa. So if Santa can exploit them, so can we. Which means between January and April (Santa’s downtime between his seasonal work) the elves will be pumping out AK47 clones. Plus how cool would it be going on that suicide mission in a sleigh and reindeers?

No revolution would be complete without an iconic image of the leader that could be used on merchandising. We’ll be going with the classic revolution merchandise, posters, t-shirts and badges. To keep initial start up costs down all official merchandise will be available through Cafepress. The iconic image that we will be using is a licensed image of Snoopy as a pilot on top of his kennel.

So there are the plans so far as they stand. Up the revolution.

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