Fake tan application and trust

I was asking the partner last night to put some fake tan (the gradual stuff, the stuff that has tanner in the moisturizer) on my back. He complied, and then went and wrote with his fingers our initials, with the classic heart between them. Thankfully, he then wiped them out, but I realized that it's quite a level of trust to:

1. See a woman naked with the light on
2. Apply fake tan to her
3. Apply fake tan to her back, where she can't reach it and since she's such a control freak, fix what she thinks you've gone and done wrong.

Not that I think he's done it wrong (of course, I can't see my back in the mirror, can I?), but what if he hadn't wiped it out? Maybe I should re-title this to be something about control freaks. Even tho I'm not one.

Around the dinner tonight with friends, we ended up with the best back graffitti yet: "For a good time..." and an arrow pointing downwards.

Gods this went all askew. Right. Normal posting will resume once the wine has worn off.

Womanly?

I have recently been accused of not being sure if I was female. I believe the quote was "I know you have boobies, but are you SURE you're a girl?!"

See, I stink at fashion. I can't match clothes to save my life, hence being a bit of a goth in high school. Yes, a bit. Cause you can match anything with white, grey and black. They all go together! I still have problems matching clothes, tho I have had a bit of advice on it, which makes it all easier. But I have no idea on many many fashion things. For example:

Earrings...when to wear dangly ones, and when to stick with studs.
When I ask "Does this make me look fat?" I honestly have no idea.
Which eyeshadow in the little compact goes where? They give you THREE, with no instructions!
Lipstick.
Fake tan (I am experimenting with it now, and will be called out on it sometime soon, I'm sure).
Shoes...ah shoes. Heels? Heck no. I live in Tevas or in my Ecco boots. Occasionally, I've been known to throw on a knee high brown boot, or my fake Chuck Taylors. I have many friends who insist on me buying heels. Which is a great time for all, as I don't know what shoes to get, or even really how to walk in them. Many dresses (oh, I have a few! You don't have to match things with dresses!) have been ruined by the heel of my heels.

But I can do other things. Cook. I make a mean...well, too many to list. But I make 'em good. And I love to cook for friends. I'm learning to knit (and iffy on that, but sticking to it). And I can read a blog post like no one's business.

But as for womanly, like the Mummys up at LittleBoy's school? /shakes head Not.Gonna.Happen.