My friends are going (home?) to the states tomorrow, I'll really miss them. They are from Maine, New England and they go to their second home there for 8 weeks in the summer holidays. We don't know each other very long, but I've become quite dependant on their friendship. I think I'm going through a time of transition at the moment, and as a result I think we've become close quite quickly.
Anyway, my friend and her family are off to the states tomorrow, and unbeknown st to me my hubby arranged with my friend so I could visit in August. So now it's up to me, do I go to the states? Leave my weenies (baby will be just four months), travel alone, take time for myself and visit America for the first time. I'm such an indecisive edjit I've asked my mum, my friends, even the yummy's at the Montessori if I should go.
Why am I so bloody concerned with everyones opinions? I really want to go, I'm excited about traveling alone, I'm excited about doing something alone (I never do anything alone) but I'm terrified, terrified about travelling terrified about leaving the kids and my hubby alone, terrified they won't miss me. My husband is being great, so supportive, he wants me to go, I want to go, my friend wants me to go, so what's stopping me?
It's so far outside my comfort zone, the longest and farthest I've been away from home since I've had the kids is two nights in London when my middle girl was the same age my baby is now. But I am a believer in "feel the fear and do it anyway", I just need to act on it!
I've had a major disagreement with my in laws recently (http://www.midgetwrangler.blogspot.com/) and I can only guess what will be said, "she fucked off to America for a week leaving our darling son to cope" ( Jesus, he had a major contribution to the creation of the three weenies!) As if he was some sort of "special needs" father, and he's very hands on, no problem to him coping with the little ones!
So feel free to comment, do you random reader I've never met, think I should put my weenies or myself first? It's now in the hands of the gods, well Blackrock Credit union, if they grant my loan I'll go if they don't it's not meant to be!
Anyway, I'll miss my friends, I've actually made loads of new friends since my littlest guy was born, out of necessity, but this friend is on of the special ones, you feel like you know them forever, rare enough! But a rare pleasure when you do meet one!