Open Your Eyes

I was listening to the radio yesterday, and a song came on that brings back really sad memories for me.

All this feels strange and untrue
And I won't waste a minute without you
My bones ache, my skin feels cold
And I'm getting so tired and so old

The anger swells in my guts
And I won't feel these slices and cuts
I want so much to open your eyes
Cos I need you to look into mine

Tell me that you'll open your eyes [x4]

Get up, get out, get away from these liars
Cos they don't get your soul or your fire
Take my hand, knot your fingers through mine
And we'll walk from this dark room for the last time

Every minute from this minute now
We can do what we like anywhere
I want so much to open your eyes
Cos I need you to look into mine

Tell me that you'll open your eyes [x8]

All this feels strange and untrue
And I won't waste a minute without you

The first time I heard this song was right after our friend, Riko, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and given less than 6 months to live. And all I kept hearing when I heard this song was his then girlfriend (they got married soon after the diagnosis) singing this to him, as he was lying in a hospital bed. It is heart wrenching for me, as Riko was the first person I know who is about my age who died (he died in April, on a gorgeous spring day), and while I wasn't as close to him as my hubby is, he was still a dear friend. It's harder still, as his children go to the same school as our oldest (in fact, he was the one who informed us of the school), and we see them and his ex wife quite often. His widow was pregnant with their first wife when he died...she's since had a beautiful daughter.

But the song, when I hear it, is like the commercials for not using mobiles while driving, or the Axa ads, or whatever. I just have to turn it off when it's on. I'm stuggling not to cry right now, just thinking about all this. I get waves of "Oh god, he's not here anymore" and have to hold in tears.