Reality Bites!

The image has nothing to do with the post but as I've explained before I love slightly erotic images! I've eaten a bag of milk choc brazil nuts tonight, why? Well I went to the travel agent this morning, spent nearly 900 Euro on my flights to and from Boston so I can visit my friends in Maine! I'm terrified, why? Well in the time of cheap flights and people practically going to the Big Apple to do their weekly shop, I've never flown outside Europe, I have spent the last ten years bringing up babies and as a result the whole disposable income and freedom to travel passed me by.

If you have read the blog before you might know I am only able to go to Maine because my wonderful husband loves me so much he doesn't want me to go mad! So hubby will have the three munchkins for eight days, seven nights....scary for him too I'm sure, but also i think when I come back he'll have a new respect for the hard work involved, and he'll have had a lot more help from family and friends than I do! Kids might appreciate me slightly more too.

I'm gonna miss them all of course but in particular my littlest guy, he was three months this week, he's so amazingly cute I can't believe he's mine. Today it was crap weather so I decided to take the kids to Dundrum, I knew I had to get some stuff in the health shop to stop the insects in Maine thinking i was a buffet! (got vit B1 and really strong Garlic tablets, also a natural cream to rub on and deter them, probably won't work, I'm like the bloody insect version of cat nip, they just adore my tasty, tasty blood).

So in Dundrum the baby needed a bottle and the older two needed food, Eddie Rockets here we come, I had my standard Veggie burger, kids had a variety of rubbish disguised as food (I'm gonna post over the weekend about how much happier I am since i stopped worrying about these things). So I was feeding my gorgeous son and i looked down at his lovely downy head with the pulsing fontanel and his little eyes closing, a half smile on his face. I felt one of those overwhelming waves of love, just this amazing physical sensation, I would do anything to keep him safe, make him happy! Then I looked up at the other two giggling away and enjoying their junk food, huge grins on their faces, and again I had a moment of, "oh my god, I made them", and as I looked at the amazing little people I made i was struck with the fact that we were all a babe in some one's arms once upon a time.

At one point in our lives then (hopefully) we were all loved unconditionally (i love him even if he pukes on me or keeps us awake all night), isn't that a lovely reassuring thought, our parents still love us that way (I hope). As we were so worthwhile and worthy of this love as babies who hadn't achieved anything or experienced ups and downs, then surely as adult we are worthy of this same level of love, from others, but also importantly from ourselves! we are all so amazingly unique and special, so wonderful, the results of love....think about that, each of us exists because of love! Nice thought? If we kept that in our minds eye maybe we'd be more positive about our bodies and ourselves, less likely to put ourselves down!

So I'm gonna miss them all, a lot, hubby and I are never apart, it's gonna be a learning curve for both of us, and it's real now, the piece of paper that represents a ticket says I'm going on the 30Th of July and coming back on the 6Th of August! I know it's gonna be so exciting, and I'm gonna come back a different person, but then since my youngest was born weeks ago i feel like a different person! Not that there was anything wrong with the old me!