Tuesday, September 18, 2007
You probably think from the title of this blog that I don't have anything in mind to write about in this one, and you'd be right. So I'm just gonna waffle and see where it goes. Dum-dee-dum, hmm, well one thing Ive been thinking recently is that I feel very out of place sometimes.. or something. That makes no sense whatsoever does it! Or i dunno maybe it does. Thing is for the past while I have been living two seperate lives, Jeckyl and Hyde style, well, not quite! The first involves living in a nice flat with flatmates in their 20's, a 9-5 boring job, paying bills, going pubbing, talking to people about stuff that I'm not really interested in etc. The second consists of hanging out with people of all ages (13-72), going on adventures in a dinghy, climbing haystacks, walking miles by moonlight in the wee hours of the morning, talking about the things in life that Im most interested in, making mad plans etc. Thing is whenever I go from the second back to the first I get really anxious, as if I'm going back to the wrong life. Sitting on the train my breath catches and a feeling of panic takes over and my physical surroundings feel like they are miles away. I suppose it's that thing of 'going back to reality', but the problem is its the second existence that is 'real' for me and in the first I sometimes feel like I don't belong there and I'm kinda 'acting' like a grown-up, image-wise its feels like looking at a little kid putting on a pair of high heels that are miles too big and trying to totter round in them. Only thing is I'm not a kid, I AM a grown-up so why do I sometimes feel so detached from my 'grown-up' life? Am I having some sort of mid-twenties crisis???
Posted by Missfitz Marionettes at Tuesday, September 18, 2007