Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind

Ok, so the other day I posted about how crap Fred Claus was, and I also posted a while back about my favorite romantic film, Truly Madly, Deeply. So this film has been on my mind recently. It was on TV a few weeks ago but I avoided it.

The premise of the film is that Kate Winslet (Clementine-love that name) is just after coming out of a relationship with Jim Carey (best role I've ever seen him in) and she gets the relationship erased from her memory, when Jim realises what has happened, and that she doesn't remember him he goes to the company to get his wiped. But during the procedure he changes his mind and he fights to hold onto her in his memory. Even typing the words now I am tearing up! Eventually they both find each other again, but discover through a twisty side plot who they both are and what relationship they shared before, and they still enter into a relationship with each other, even when they know how horrible things went in the relationship, and with no guarantee the same things won't happen again.

Now, I have spoken to people about this movie, and they think that it's so romantic, that the point of the story is that everyone has a soul mate and no matter what happens those people will be drawn together. I don't think that's the point of it at all, I think the story shows how even though we know the outcome of most relationships, be it that they last 2 weeks or 20 years they will eventually end but we still hold enough hope in our heart to enter into them (or at least most of us do).

At the moment what's on my mind is the question of the memory removal. I have just had a relationship of nearly 17 years end and if I was offered the opportunity of having all those memories removed would I? Would I want that person removed from all my memories, would it be any easier to bear? I don't know. I suppose if you sacrifice the bad memories then you miss out on the good ones too? I don't know.

Sometimes I long for something to bring an end to the "oh "we" did that, "we" bought that in that shop, "we" always loved that restaurant"! then at other times I can remember and not feel too sad! Time will make it easier I suppose but will it take another 17 years?

Sorry, feel low today, I think it's Christmas. I'm gonna do a grinchy post on my own blog later! I won't be able to make it rhyme like Dr Seuss, or Mossie!


  1. I was in a shite relationship for 3 years (abusive, in the end). Would I want to erase that? No. Cause it's made me who I am today. Tho I loathe the man, and when I was last in LA, I kept looking over my shoulder, afraid to run into him. I saw his doppelganger on the street in Dublin a couple years ago, talk about frightening!

    Anyway, no. Your past experiences are what make you whole.

  2. Sorry to hear that you had to experience that Polka!

    I of course wasn't in a relationship that was abusive, but you are right it has made me the wonderful human being I am today!

    The good times were so good, I wouldn't want to forget those!

  3. I thought the film was saying that it's not possible to act an artificial quick fix. You can't just erase stuff that happened to you, you have to resolve it yourself, actively.

  4. I love the use of words like "actively" "proactive" I know exactly what you mean though, but for some people in the film the quick fix works well enough! I suppose everyone is different!
    So people never learn from things taht happen in their lives do they?

  5. I don't! 'She didn't learn her lesson' will be written on my gravestone!

  6. I love LOVE this movie. It is actually a favourite of both mine and my partners. I really enjoyed everyone in this movie particularly Winslet and Tom Wilkinson. I really have a thing for the sliver fox it seems!

    In relation to the subject matter, I don't think it is ever a good idea to want to forget, or push things to the back of your mind. You learn and grow from all your life experiences. With the good, comes the bad and although it is hard to accept it's just a fact of life.

    I have a tendancy to feel a bit low myself for various reasons. I think talking it out helps me the most, be it with fella, family or friends. Or indeed a friendly blog~

  7. Every single step, decision, movement, thought, experience brings you to exactly the point in life that you are right now. Had I not split with my wife I would not have met Aoife, moved jobs, moved house and god knows what else. Everything has an opposite, so if you are down there will be an up, if you are confused you will be clear etc. These shitty times really do make you stronger. Wish there was a better way, like a pharmaton capsule but hey ho, there you go :)

  8. I do believe that Idiot, I really do (btw when is Aoife gonna write for us???) And moving forwards and changing is painful but that's life. I am living positively, but at times the Pharmaton capsule is appealing. I have avoided booze because I was afraid I'd jus drown myself in jack Daniels! Glad to hear your life worked out so well!

    Voodoo, you are very sweet (sorry to hear you won't write for us) And I do talk to friends and my blog is actually a great support!

    Jo, you do learn from your mistakes, of course you do, problem is like the rest of us you make different ones then!

  9. MW, I wouldn't like to change the past but would dearly love to change how I react in the present as a result of my past.