Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Locked in a Wardrobe........

It was a cold evening and I was just settling down after my tango lesson to type a new post. No Shanachie you were not far of the mark. I had just cracked my knuckles and lowered my seat into the optimum typing position, when I heard a vague shuffling from behind me. Before I could react there was a towel wrapped around my face and my hands were cable tied behind my back. My assailants left me writhing uncomfortably on the floor while they discussed what to do next.

Assailant 1: "Ok, so we have stopped this moronic post but he will not remain here long before being found"

Assailant 2: "Well we have to protect fournine. End of story"

Assailant 1: "I know but this won't work, the threatening letters to the other blokes seems to have worked but this eejit just leaves post unopened on the side table"

Assailant 2: "Right I am going downstairs to disconnect his internet. You clear one of the wardrobes and we can stick him in there for a while"

So there I lay imagining my star wars figures (in boxes btw) being thrown around the room to make way for me. After a few minutes I was hefted into the wardrobe and heard the door snap shut with what felt like a full stop. Through the door I heard the muffled voices of my assailants.

Assailant 1: "Well now that I am overlord of this blog we can do things our way, mwhahahahahaha"

Hmmm, I thought, now who could that be???

Assailant 2: "Well after his tete a tete with Atreus I think its better to keep his absolute manliness restricted"

Suddenly a third voice entered the equation and I was pretty sure who this was.

Assailant 3: "Well now that that is done, Its time to have some fun. Lets do the blog our way, lets only have our say! No more moronic posts, from this deluded one who boasts. Lets leave this guy to rot and give this takeover a real shot!

With a few slammed doors I was alone again. Thank god for CSI Las Vegas. I knew I could last for 3 days without water and about two weeks without food. The only problem was air. Unless I got some more air in here I would be gone in 24 hours. Oh for Jack Bauers initiative now, I thought to myself.

So I got the corner of the wardrobe open with a few weird kicks so air was no problem. The only thing I had with me in the wardrobe was my flexibility. After two days of weight loss and continued exercising I managed to invert my whole body, A feat Prince would be proud of. I was the able to extend my legs and draw my hands around my arse and back in front of me. I was free.

With no internet I had to get my emaciated body into the car and shuttle over to the brothers to use his computer. So here I am and I am looking for vengeance.

Talk to you soon, all the breast.

Idiot

6 comments:

  1. I knew it I bloody knew it!!!! We'll have to meet and discuss mutual security soon lads because if one things for sure we need moronic posts and more of them!

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  2. Idiot are you challenging my power and feigning masculinity - you the seller of many pink shirts!!!!!

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  3. And expensive pink shirts at that.........................

    But lovely ones at the same time

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  4. Lmao hey pink shirt man, good post, I was wondering what the hell happened the fact I have not seen you playing warhawk, for it must be 8 hours ;-) Good to see you come back.

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  5. Well I wasn't there...if I had we would have dressed you in lingerie and fuck me heels!!!

    ReplyDelete

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