Saturday, February 02, 2008

Been a long time since I rock'n'rolled

I was going to use 'Hello Hello (I'm Back Again)' until I realised it was by Gary Glitter. I promise to post just a little bit more from now on.

The title speaks the truth though.

My life is very quiet these days. Some might say too quiet but I've found a rut that suits me. This isn't a good thing; its a crime to waste time but the rut is just sooo comfortable. Like Homer Simpons ass groove its been carefully moulded over a course of years.

Any break in the routine is troublesome; going to a different pub on a Sunday afternoon (with the same three people I go to the pub with EVERY Sunday) causes concern. Having to catch a slightly different bus gives me palpatations. I have become a creature of habit.

Those people I go to the pub with are in the same boat. Small circle of friends and a great big rut to try to drag yourself out of.

I went through my mobile phone some months back in a moment of self doubt and insecurity. How many of these people could I genuinely call my friends? The results were not good.

I found

Eight people I exchange work gossip with

Four drug dealers (I dont partake but PM me for details of services available)

two closet cases

three convicted criminals

four people I went to college with who do their best to keep in touch but I rarely reply 'cos we've got nothing in common anymore.

two millionaires

and one stalker. Even my stalker is only just about average. And she seems to have calmed down of late the lazy bitch.

There are some good friends in that phonebook too (some of whom are also on this blog) but its not exactly an impressive haul. Tiger Beer won't be sponsoring my next birthday party.

I really should do something about this; maybe take up a hobby that doesn't involve masterbation; take a long holiday abroad. However, the sofa is calling me right now and that ass groove looks comforting.


  1. My groove is no longer jsut a groove - after two pregnancies it's more of a crater!

    I'd say work on the millionaires. If nothing else, it could gain you a better class of stalker.

  2. Damn JM you stole my line, I was gonna comment on the poor quality of stalkers these days. I think stalking is an excellent career. It's got focus, determination, is rewarding & challenging, mysterious and detective like.

  3. ...and in the case of Perez Hilton, a very lucrative career too!

  4. Its too easy to stalk since the internet was invented (thanks Al Gore). There was a time when you had to put a lot of time and effort into it. Now all you have to do is look up photos and Bebo and then right click to save onto my external D Drive.

  5. OH Gosh, I'd love to think you were going to change...But I know you for 15 years now....and you are firmly in the rut now! I keep telling you I'll give you driving lessons...then you can at least move the rut around.

    I will tell you something though, the rut you are in is a lot better than the rut you were in a few years ago, that was scary!

    You are a good friend which is nothing to be laughed at!

  6. I'm with MW on this one GB. You've at lest not got a life thretening rut these days. The trick is to say yes to everything, particularly to those things you would have previously definitely said no to. You never know where it might lead you.