Monday, February 04, 2008


Now Someone Living is always making jokes about communes and Lima Bean picking, but I have a confession to make, I always liked the idea of a commune! Now not the religious leader taking all my money type of commune, more the free love and "it takes a village to raise a child" aspect of community living!

There was a running joke between my ex and I that if we won the Lotto we'd buy a giant house and get all of our friends to move in, some of us would work, others would take care of the home and children, home schooling of course. I have to admit I was only half joking, I would look in the property supplments at giant houses in West Cork or Connemara and wonder.

Now you are all thinking it's because of the free love...and I won't deny I have given that some thought, I don't know if I think monogomy works, but then again I also don't know if polygamy can work either, the same petty jealousies and boredom would still be a problem. I don't think human beings find monogomy easy because it's not our natural state, we aren't meant to live beyond our mid thirties so how can we xpect to live for 40 years with the one partner.

It's the family aspect of communal living that always appealled to me. It's a more traditional way of living, the nuclear family system we favour does not work, it isolates families there is no support network of grannies and aunts, sisters and cousins to learn parenting skills from. Childcare wouldn't be an issue in a traditional extended family either, there is always a matriarch there to help with the children. The commune system is based on the extended family system, there are the same advantages, but also disadvantages, living with a group of people can be a pain in the ass, sharing space (and in the case of a commune, beds), can get tiring very quickly!

But then maybe the appeal of free childcare and dinner on the table every evening when you get back from the Lima Bean field would be enough to convince people to gove it a try!


  1. would myself and my little family have been invited to said house for food and sex? sorry home schooling?

  2. Shan all would be welcome, all that would be required would be the deed to your soul...I mean a willingness to chop firewood!

  3. bah dont like the sound of that, sounds boring bring on the orgies and nakedness with women thronging around me

    /shan wakes up and relises its home time.

  4. HAve you read about the community (rather than commune) described in 'SEcrets of Happy Children' I think, by Steve Biddulph. It sounds v like what you're talking about - and it works, apparently.

    I'll show you later! No time to espouse, ahem, I mean expound, I think, now.

  5. Ah but Jo...where is the free love man? :-)

    I know it's very 1960's grateful dead, lts smoke this and s what happens...but aftr my 17 years of a relationship (give or take a month or so) I kinda like the idea of polyamory (?) I think that's what it's called!

    God, obviously though at th momnt I am in a relationship so it's all just daydreams..but maybe it could work?

    Shan, sure you probably have orgies all the time, working in the business you do? All those music types....all the same, mad nyphos!

  6. I know a woman who was born into a 60s free love commune. Her mother picked someone else from the commune and left her to grow up with her Dad.

  7. You do all understand the "without" in our tag line is a wistful one, right?

  8. MW, well, it beats Balamory :)

    milan, yikes, that's a nasty story. I don't think the communes or the 60s were all they were cracked up to be. Lots of advantage taking.

    I don't think our conversation would be as good if we were all sleeping with eachother.

    Shit, maybe you are all sleeping with eachother. How would I know?

  9. Now there's a potential post and comment sequence Jo :)