Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Healthy versus Hedonism!

I am in a bind, it is really fucking stupid I shouldn't be posting this here, it's much more of a personal blog post! But feck it, I did four blog posts on my own blog today! It's Tuesday evening...which means tomorrow is Wednesday morning, or weight watchers Wednesday, so I am having a huge dilemma, last week I was there after being away for twelve weeks, I lost a pound. now you and I know it is just margin of error, but my leader (sich heil) said, "oh, you are practicing for maintenance?".....but now the problem is this is maintenance, I have found a way to keep my nice size sixteen curves, but not gain weight....perfect for me. But what brought me back to WW? Guilt! I love my treats and to lose more weight I'll have to give those treats up!

I like my figure, I am happy to be a sixteen.....I'm smaller than miss Ditto now, but I still aspire to her lovely curves! And her sexy happiness in herself i wish I had the balls to say, hey, I am happy being a size 16..this is maintenance, and if I want to feel smaller I'll come back but until then my wobbly thighs and tummy are my business... I like them and if my boyfriend doesn't like that then it's his problem...not mine! I have seen my mum go through agony, I have seen what the perfect body does..... no calcium in your bones so yo are so diseased you can't function....give me size sixteen curves (and saggy bits, sorry I am too honest), give me that and a man that really loves me and I'll be happy!

My boyfriend is lovely, and I adore him, but I do feel a bit huge, a bit like if I (excuse the french) but if I sat on his face I'd suffocate him....I feel very aware of my (three) baby belly and my booby boobs...it is hard to feel attractive when everything is stacked against you...And he is teeny...teeny tiny..not in the bedroom department but I think I have three stone on him if we were to wrestle....so Yo can understand, I am extremely aroused and I want to sit on my boyfriend...but I get the " will I squash him blues????" Really not good....really not attractive...makes me sad...

OK, it is 1am, I have devoured two cans of beer...and some hedonistic food! But I still feel very strongly about this...I adore Beth's confidence, wish I really shared her world view!


  1. I's sorry, but it';s a tootal mnisnomer to call waht your mother achieved a 'perfect body'. Being thin and being healthy are two very different things.

    There' a big difference between foregoing high fat high sugar treats and excercising, and starving yourself of essential minerals and nutrients.

    There has to be a happy medium here somewhere!

    I know for me so far, all or nothing works better, it's true - as soon as I start eating sugar I'm hooked and I can't stop and it escalates.

    And I don't know if WW addresses that enough.

    But if you could get out there walking with the buggy every day it would excuse a lot of Magnums, it really does.

  2. I say set your goals easy and start off with a 3 hour marathon.

  3. I know exactly how you feel. I am larger than you started off my married life size 8 stayed that or 10 for a few years then had my third child and got bigger , after my fourth and hysterectomy also in my 30's my weight escalated similar to your mother hrt was only new and a lot of mistakes were made will write a post soon as I have hospital appointment tomorrow so we will see what happens. husband is also very thin must try that sitting on his face.

  4. ails!

    Unfortunately I'd say it's a fairly traceable way of murdering your husband...

  5. oh my god mum.....

    Anyway midge ion the words of whatsherface..

    You are beautiful in every single way,

  6. Ails, you are lovely....seen you on Face book...I've never been small you see, so I suppose I like the flab a bit too much!I hope you are ok after the hospital appointment, they did some brutal things to women up until recently.

    Jo I have a pedometer on my phone and I am aiming (and managing) 10,000 steps a day. You were sweet on Friday night, and I like the curvy me at the moment, if i could stay this way I'd be happy, but my confidence, that peaks and ebbs.

    Idiot, how many bottles of Coors light did you have when you quoted Xtina in a comment! I only beautiful if viewed in dim lighting....x