Cheap Ass Waste Of Time Television

"What's on the box love?" says I to she,
"The usual" is the response I receive,
There's shite on One about some lad in a field,
Who's invented a new way to plant some seed,
There's people on holidays on RTE Two,
"Who can afford to go now?" says you,
They send these celebs (if you can call them that),
To Oz and to Spain, why not Iraq?
With my license money they're taking the piss,
Sending Lucy Kennedy to swim with big fish.

"Oh right", said I, "what about Three",
(I'm clutching at straws here can't you see?),
"Well Lorraine and the girls are on Exposé",
"They all think they're twenty" I hear you say.
But they're wise and sage about the economy,
Spend spend spend to avoid the monotony,
Of people talking about the recession,
Lecturing us with their blank expressions.

"TURN THAT SHITE OFF", I shout, "RIGHT AWAY"
"I've enough listening to shit talk for one day,
All I want is some good TV,
Like back in the old days on RTE,
Mike Murphy come back we need a shot,
Of your comedy genius that most have forgot,
Or what about Biddy and Miley and Dinny,
We thought that was shite til we saw Fair City.

Now that I step back and think,
I have the solution and it's not Twink,
Those of you with Sky may scoff,
But fuck you TV I'm turning you off.