Today at 12 midday April 7th 2009 I have not smoked for 13 hours and too right I am counting.
I have wanted to stop smoking for quite a while but never seemed to find the right time to stop.
I started smoking when I was 11 years old I am now 39- ridiculous.
I have two beautiful children that if i continue to smoke I will not see have there own children that's a fact - its really bloody hard and feels like it is killing me to stop but its not killing me as quickly as continuing does.
My reasons for stopping are a daughter that watched the advert have you all seen it ? that says " I am not worried about bullies , I am not worried about school, I am not worried if my friends like me etc etc but I am worried about mummy dying from smoking" -my daughter looked at me and said Mummy I worry about that too-
I am a bit neurotic at the best of times and since my mum died of cancer I cannot stop thinking about the fact that I might get something and die too, I told this to my Dad who hit the nail on the head and said "you worry yourself sick about things you cannot change but then continue to do something that is killing you and you can change"
I hate myself for the fact that something stinky, stupidly expensive and dangerous has such a hold over me .
No more the fool - I want to see my Grand-kids x