Gore Wins Nobel Prize, High Court Gives It to Bush

Scrappleface ^ | Scott Ott

(2007-10-12) — Although former Vice President Al Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize this week for his work as a global-warming performance artist, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled early today that President George Bush would receive the gold medal, the diploma and the $750,000.

Mr. Bush, who was narrowly defeated by Mr. Gore in the 2000 presidential election, thanked Justices John Roberts and Samuel Alito "for swinging the vote my way, and helping me to join the pantheon of great Nobel laureates like Jimmy Carter and the late Yassir Arafat who together brought peace to the middle east."

Mr. Gore could not be reached for comment as he was returning from Oslo, Norway, in a private jet. However, his spokesman said that his efforts to bring peace on earth speak for themselves.

"Thanks to Al Gore's movies, speeches and books," said the unnamed spokesman, "Terrorists and tyrants around the world will soon lay aside the weapons of war and give peace a chance by working together to develop a hybrid car that runs on cheap, clean-burning gunpowder."

Ode to the Revenue Commissioners

Here I hang, broken-hearted,
Money owed before I started;
Cowan got his VAT to chew
But still much more tax is due!

Watch as more accounts will drain;
Halloween just brings me pain.
Someday I'll make it through:
Earn my money---and keep it too.

Look, up in the sky!

Off-camera voice

It's a bird!

It's a plane!

No, it's six nuclear warheads flying across America!

George Bush

You silly goose---warheads don't fly, missiles actually fly!

What the **** ?

Just a quick one that's been playing on my mind the last couple of days...

Driving along the other day in the lashings of rain and I stop at the traffic lights. I look out my window and there is a bus shelter with a poster bearing the message "Please help us to conserve our water".

........?

So after somehow getting my brain around this message I laughed so hard I did a little fart and had to open my window and got drenched..

Good god, how can anyone living in this climate take that message seriously??

Now in fairness I understand about population growth and the fact that our government never bothered their arses upgrading our water systems but for feck sake....

How pathetic a nation will we look when we have hose pipe bans and water charges!! Is it any wonder people are still under the illusion that we all live in huts with no electricity. The inadequacies of successive governments in areas of infrastructure and growth never cease to amaze me.

I am not even going to comment on the big plastic poster on the wall of liffey beside the halfpenny bridge that spends a lot of time under water.......

Now I am in a bad mood.... No more rants from me......until next time :)