Short Pieces

Wow it's been a little while since I posted on here. Seems I'm the only one these days. Hopefully the other contributors will post something soon to save you from my mad ramblings.
I mean you know who I hate and why. You know that Gordon Brown is out to get me and that he has been prepared to sacrifice the Western economy to do that. But you probably need a break from me. Or at least some one to post between my delusional rants.

I mean do you really want me to write about how I was disgusted with Gordon Brown's latest "please vote for me" campaign. I mean come on he comes across as one of those drunk wife beaters that having beaten the shit out of the spouse in a drunken rage, begs for forgiveness the next morning promising never to do it again, with his "take another look at Labour". I just hope that the British electorate is not as stupid as those abused spouses who take back that wife beater, believing those lies.
I mean on the Labour website they have a campaign going at the moment where they want people to submit photos showing how Labour have changed the country. I'd love folks to post pictures of all the closed factories and businesses because Brown fecked us over. He thought it was a good idea to save the jobs and necks of his pals in the City, yet let's the common man get made redundant left right and centre (heck he is letting the North East potentially go into economic meltdown), and does nothing about it. But then again it's his City pals that will give him that cushy position on the board once the cnut gets kicked out of power. So what do we expect from the corrupt?

Or would you prefer I write about now that Cheryl Cole has dumped cheating scumbag Ashley Cole that she should come visit me. Oh don't get me wrong I'd jump her bones if given the chance. But that wouldn't be the reason why. I'd like to let her get her life in perspective and see the shit hole of a mess that my life is. Which there are also a lot of people in a similar situation. I think once she is shown things in context that her situation although emotional painful is not that big a deal in the scale of things. And if she wants to receive or give a sympathy knee trembler afterwards then I'm up for it.

i have a life mate

So there you are on a monday evening 3 minutes to 6 and waiting on the "beep beep" of your watch so you can get home from a long day at work. and some asshole comes in and asks "what time ya close mate" in there thick country accent, most ordinary folk have went home to let us people in retail get to ours. yes i know we are open for a service etc etc,but 3 minutes to 6 is taking the piss. "i need a shirt for goin' out ta' night" he says to which i reply "casual or formal", "ack its only for takin' her for somfin to eat" casual then it is ya cheap git. so i show him to the shirts "what about this one" i say "and what size you looking" "oh large will do me mate", yeah right in dreams chubby last time you seen large was on a mc donalds wrapper. in this time the "beep beep" has gone and the other staff are giving me the "we're away home nod",no point us all wasting time as numpty looks at new shirts. "aye ill take dat mate hope im not keeping ya back like" he says as we walk to the till "ah no sure im here till 6" i said looking at my watch, knowing its 10 past, "im in no hurry"

Don't get me wrong i dont mind my job i quite like it. But there's always one person that'll keep 10 people back just because being open 7 days a week isnt enough.

As you may have/haven't noitced this is only my second blog fgirst one didnt go to well did it lol anyway im here now get over yourselves lol, forgive my spelling and bad grammer. hopefully it will improve after reading others on here and a few i other places i will be posting more often.

You Know Who Else I Hate? Ashley Cole

yep the post title says it all really. Here is a man married to a very attractive woman. Yet somehow the twat feels a need to cheat on her with other women.
It wasn't bad enough that he did it once and got caught. But it now appears he has been caught again playing away!
What's up with the guy? He had one mission in life once he married Cheryl Cole. To keep her mouth full anyway he could so that she no longer recorded another piece of crap music again. Instead he decided that this mission, one that many red blooded men would of died for, was not good enough for him. He really is a selfish cnut.
But maybe Cheryl Cole is having the last laugh on Ashley Cole in the Elvive advert on tv when she says "Weak, limp,lifeless..." is she talking shampoo or telling us what Ashley is really like between the covers?

I do see a trend with the Chelsea squad. Ashley Cole cheats on wife, Frank Lampard cheats on wife, John Terry cheats on wife. Something in the Chelsea shower water I assume.
To complete the picture I am painting I do hear that Drogba is very popular with the young ladies right up to the point that they realise that he does not go down off the pitch anywhere as close to as much as he does on the pitch or as easily.

Raymond Blanc Is A C**t Too

Raymond Blanc is a right c**t. No the French chef really is. I've just seen the BBC pimping out his new tv series Raymond Blanc's Kitchen Secrets starting on the 15th February.
What the feckin use is that? Valentines Day is the day before. The men in the UK need the knowledge now so on the big day we can impress that special person with our cullinery skills in the kitchen.
But noooo Raymond is being c**tish by keeping the knowledge we need to himself until after we need it.
I know what he is upto. Oh yes I know what his oh so not so cunning plan is.
It's a cunning French plot to spoil the British males chances of getting some Valentine Day action.
He's hoping that by making us flops in the kitchen that we will be flops in the bedroom. Well I have news for Mr Blanc I don't need his help to make me look a flop in the bedroom. I can do a pretty good job of that all by myself thank you very much.
Do we really want tossers like Jamie Oliver being the only ones getting some action on the 14th, because the know the secret of keeping their souffles up?

You can probably tell this post is the follow up to the ever popular blog post I wrote about Santa at Christmas.