Oops I did it again

Not wanting to turn this place into a pop-culture blog BUT - Ms. Spears really doesn't do herself any favours does she?

After loosing her battle for custody of her children only this week and being awarded limited visitation - she manages to get herself papped in another compromising parenting debacle.

The sort of letter Dads don't want to get

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love,
Your Son,
John

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer.

I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.

Good child/bad child?

Apparently we have good kids.

My mother has said this.  Many others have said this too.  I think I'm starting to get it.  

The baby doesn't really fuss much, and is just kinda there.

The older one is relatively obedient, and will eat almost anything put in front of him (except banana).  I'm learning, during our lovely playdates with others in his class, that this is exceptional.  As in, he's the exception.  All others come with codicils..."I don't eat soup."  "I don't like crusts."  "I won't eat cucumber." "I don't like sandwiches." "Ham is yucky."

Dear lord in heaven.  I made a nice carrot and red pepper soup today (it's an Avoca recipe), mainly cause we needed to use up the peppers, and I have a cold, so hello soup!  This lovely playmate walks in and announces "I don't eat soup."  We don't have much else in the house that I can throw together, so I ask if he wants a ham sandwich.  A jam sandwich.  Plain bread and butter.  Pasta.  Tuna.  We end up at chocolate spread on bread.  Great.  Wait...what kind of bread? "I don't like brown bread."  AAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH.  I don't like having white bread in the house (not cause I don't like it, but cause I like it TOO much).  We happened to have a hot dog bun left over from yesterday, and there we go.  This took about 20 minutes.  

I'm looking at his plate (he continually got up and played with things while the rest of us sat and had a nice soup lunch, including said son, who had 2 bowls of carrot soup), which has one-half of one half eaten.  /headdesk 

Kiddy-Free Clothes

What is the one item of clothes you would never wear if you are to be within sneezing distance of a small child? White jeans. I spent an entired weekend in a pair! Yes we had a kiddy free weekend and did lots of things that you can't do with small kids and I savoured every minute of it by wearing white jeans, pretty shoes, silk tops; all the things you never do if you have to chase a 5 year old through a park or bake a cake with an eleven year old! Although I'm new to this stay at home lark I'm already appreciating getting away from them! We drove to the far side of the country just to see a play, went to Cork City Sports on a whim, went out to eat at 10pm and just did what we wanted!! Oh the simple things that give you pleasure! But 3 days out of a pair of white jeans (including a hen night and a 4am dash to the airport) has to be a record!

Sleep deprivation

It'll be short and sweet, kind of like my sleep last night: the five month-old and I were downstairs, awake, starting at 3am. He was asleep by about 6:30am or so. I wasn't---an episode of Entourage and two episodes of CSI, with a couple of cups of tea kept me functioning. He's not really done this too much, so I can't complain too much---but I get to, a little. The sleep pattern of infants is fucking absurd. Yeah, love, I know. That's why I do it. And know I'll do it again in a second. I just need him to wait a few more seconds before doing that little trick again.